| Achievement | How to unlock
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|---|
| - Began playing Holy Molluscamony.
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| - Began playing Humble Pie.
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| - Discovered that Bernard isn't actually a duck. (Secret)
|
| - You brought two very normal characters together (Secret)
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| - You left every single door in Humble Pie open (Secret)
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| - You correctly picked the only serious title (Secret)
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| - You discovered what you smell like (Secret)
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| - You tried to do a terrible thing.
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- Elland's Finest Liver Bypass
| - You demonstrated an appreciation for the local brews (Secret)
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| - Given a proper Yorkshire greeting to 10 things.
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- Go Forth And Do All The Things
| - Learnt how to make amends to Bertrella.
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| - You solved Bertrella's problem. (Secret)
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| - You completed Holy Molluscamony.
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| - You completed Humble Pie.
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| - You uncovered the truth about a novel.
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| - You found a totally normal thing. (Secret)
|
| - How... how did you do that?
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| - Did your bit for animal rights. Fat lot of good it did you. (Secret)
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| - You closed every door in Humble Pie behind you. Good for you. (Secret)
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| - You let Crazy Harbert tell you everything.
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| - You stuffed both Bertrellas with Sowerby Pumper (Secret)
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| - You covered both Bertrellas in salt water (Secret)
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| - You covered both Bertrellas in deadly mud. (Secret)
|
| - Turned the lights back off. (Secret)
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| - You solved Other Bertrella's problem (Secret)
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- The Udderbuttock-Gromley Memorial Award
| - You scanned 10 people with the Udgrom-o-meter.
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| - You found out what's in the box.
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- You Were Wearing Your Blue Jumper?
| - Pretended to forget how you ruined Bertrella's wedding (Secret)
|
| - He totally had it coming (Secret)
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