| Achievement | How to unlock
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| A Beautiful Day | Began playing Holy Molluscamony.
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| A Pie-fect Day | Began playing Humble Pie.
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| Bernard The Duck | Discovered that Bernard isn't actually a duck. (Secret)
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| Best Friends Forever | You brought two very normal characters together (Secret)
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| Born in a barn | You left every single door in Humble Pie open (Secret)
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| Careful Now | You correctly picked the only serious title (Secret)
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| Christmas Pudding | You discovered what you smell like (Secret)
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| Diabolical | You tried to do a terrible thing.
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| Elland's Finest Liver Bypass | You demonstrated an appreciation for the local brews (Secret)
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| Ey Up 'Em Up | Given a proper Yorkshire greeting to 10 things.
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| Go Forth And Do All The Things | Learnt how to make amends to Bertrella.
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| Good As New | You solved Bertrella's problem. (Secret)
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| Holy Molluscamony! | You completed Holy Molluscamony.
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| Humble Pie! | You completed Humble Pie.
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| Jeff Goldblum | You uncovered the truth about a novel.
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| Luxuriant Foliage | You found a totally normal thing. (Secret)
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| OMG Are You Psychic? | How... how did you do that?
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| Problematic | Did your bit for animal rights. Fat lot of good it did you. (Secret)
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| Put wood in t'ole | You closed every door in Humble Pie behind you. Good for you. (Secret)
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| Slugs Hate Salt | You let Crazy Harbert tell you everything.
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| The Enboozening | You stuffed both Bertrellas with Sowerby Pumper (Secret)
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| The Endrenchening | You covered both Bertrellas in salt water (Secret)
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| The Enmuddening | You covered both Bertrellas in deadly mud. (Secret)
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| The Mum We Deserve | Turned the lights back off. (Secret)
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| The Pub Awaits | You solved Other Bertrella's problem (Secret)
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| The Udderbuttock-Gromley Memorial Award | You scanned 10 people with the Udgrom-o-meter.
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| What's in the box? | You found out what's in the box.
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| You Were Wearing Your Blue Jumper? | Pretended to forget how you ruined Bertrella's wedding (Secret)
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| Your Tears Nourish Me | He totally had it coming (Secret)
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