| Achievement | How to unlock
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- Ain't no rest for the wicked
| - Clear away all those headstones cluttering up the graveyard.
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| - Complete all the underground bomb-bouncing courses.
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| - Find a gramophone and DANCE, DANCE, DANCE!
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| - Smash all the crates in the fields.
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| - Ruin the Witch and Merchant's cruelty-free dinner.
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| - Kill the tyrannical Scarecrow and liberate the crows.
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| - Make some magic mushroom music!
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| - Make vinyls cool again. ...Actually, that's impossible, even as a joke. Just find all the gramophones.
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| - Beat the gate guards to the gate they guard on guard carts.
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| - Ride the ghost horse all the way to the end.
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| - Kill the Phantom guarding the ancient mines.
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| - Go for a nice walk with Abelard the Gargoyle.
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| - Solve world hunger (by killing Gluttony)
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| - Pass your abandoned minecart driving test.
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| - Give in to your inner completionist.
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| - Equip the Legendary Holy Glory Shovel.
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| - Collect all crow skulls in Skeletown.
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| - Send a monster back to the grave.
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| - Collect all crow skulls in the swamp.
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| - Collect all crow skulls in the graveyard.
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| - Collect all crow skulls in the fields.
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| - Find all crow skulls in the ancient mines.
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| - Collect all crow skulls in the North.
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| - Kill the Wizard + Get the Amulet = Profit.
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| - Be the David to Dhor's Goliath (i.e. kill the big guy)
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- The Worst Achievement Possible
| - Get on Santa's Super-Duper-Duper-Naughty List.
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| - Win the game of Conveniently-Placed Hydraulic-Operated Underground Whack-a-Mole (patent pending)
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| - Reach the end of the vortex like a paper boat down a drain.
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- You've Got A Problem, Man
| - Collect every single crow skull in the world.
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