| Achievement | How to unlock
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| Ain't no rest for the wicked | Clear away all those headstones cluttering up the graveyard.
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| Bomberman | Complete all the underground bomb-bouncing courses.
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| Boogie-Man Wonderland | Find a gramophone and DANCE, DANCE, DANCE!
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| Brand New Body | Finish the tutorial.
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| Crash Boo-ndicoot | Smash all the crates in the fields.
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| Cruel Tea | Ruin the Witch and Merchant's cruelty-free dinner.
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| Curse of the Scarecrow | Kill the tyrannical Scarecrow and liberate the crows.
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| De-Composer | Make some magic mushroom music!
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| Disk Jockey | Make vinyls cool again. ...Actually, that's impossible, even as a joke. Just find all the gramophones.
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| Fashion Victim | Buy a new outfit!
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| Formula Ugh | Beat the gate guards to the gate they guard on guard carts.
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| Full Closet | Fill out your wardrobe.
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| Ghost Rider | Ride the ghost horse all the way to the end.
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| Ghostbuster | Kill the Phantom guarding the ancient mines.
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| High Flyer | Go for a nice walk with Abelard the Gargoyle.
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| Hunger Killer | Solve world hunger (by killing Gluttony)
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| License to Drive | Pass your abandoned minecart driving test.
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| Official Groupie | Give in to your inner completionist.
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| Prying Eyes | Pick up a crow skull.
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| Shovel Face | Equip the Legendary Holy Glory Shovel.
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| Skull Aficionado | Collect all crow skulls in Skeletown.
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| Skull Breaker | Send a monster back to the grave.
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| Skull Collector | Collect all crow skulls in the swamp.
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| Skull Fanatic | Collect all crow skulls in the graveyard.
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| Skull Finder | Collect all crow skulls in the fields.
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| Skull Hobbyist | Find all crow skulls in the ancient mines.
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| Skull Obsessive | Collect all crow skulls in the North.
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| The Baddest Bad Guy | Kill the Wizard + Get the Amulet = Profit.
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| The Bigger They Are... | Be the David to Dhor's Goliath (i.e. kill the big guy)
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| The Worst Achievement Possible | Get on Santa's Super-Duper-Duper-Naughty List.
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| Whack-a-Mole | Win the game of Conveniently-Placed Hydraulic-Operated Underground Whack-a-Mole (patent pending)
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| You'll Float, Too | Reach the end of the vortex like a paper boat down a drain.
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| You've Got A Problem, Man | Collect every single crow skull in the world.
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