| Achievement | How to unlock
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| - Finish Sudsy the Inanimate with his own glacial spike.
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- A Little Something On Your Nose
| - Donate 100 credits to the Guidance Counselor.
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| - Save 80 tokens in a single playthrough.
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| - Defeat The Imaginaries with less than 50 move speed remaining.
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| - Defeat The Disciplined King in under 75 seconds.
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| - Defeat Regan while holding max juice boxes.
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| - Defeat the Candelabra of Longing without leaving the light.
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| - Defeat The Winged Overseer with 10 or more small birds still alive.
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| - Donate 500 credits to the Guidance Counselor.
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| - Deal over 1000 damage with a basic attack on an enemy.
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| - Defeat The Box of Nice Things with four or more presents still alive.
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| - Donate 5000 credits to the Guidance Counselor.
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| - Defeat a feral cat champion.
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| - Defeat Goneril before destroying any buildings.
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| - Collect both the Gourmet Turtle and the Wandering Crab in a single game.
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| - Defeat A Buoyant Double after killing three Frosty Doubles.
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| - Defeat The Administrators four times.
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| - Donate 10000 credits to the Guidance Counselor.
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| - Get a ten game win streak.
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- If You Can Dodge a Footstool
| - Defeat The Friendly Foot Stools without taking damage.
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| - Defeat Dr. Bloodfather with less than 13 health remaining.
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| - Complete Hard Mode without using any juice boxes.
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| - Collect and hold 40 tokens in a single playthrough.
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| - Defeat The Brick Pile without letting any slime return.
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| - Defeat The Frozen Few without failing a maze once.
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| - Please sir - defeat the Cauldron of Yesterdayers before A Second Helping.
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| - Complete a sensitive floor while under the influence of Severity.
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- Not Thinking With Portals
| - Defeat The Administrators after spawning 13 extra enemies.
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| - Complete the game on Hard Mode.
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| - Meet your demise in Edgewood again and again and again.
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| - Defeat Frothy the Dragon without taking damage.
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| - Finish off Some Harmless Markings with a chalk cloud.
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| - Defeat Better Cordy without hitting it with basic attacks.
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| - Roll while holding the Fragile Roly Poly and the Candelabra Matchsticks.
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| - Collect 35 items over multiple playthroughs.
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- Succeed On Your Own Merits
| - Reach the end of Chapter 2 without using a vending machine.
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| - Defeat The Obsolete Operator with five or more trash can Broggs still alive.
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| - Donate 1500 credits to the Guidance Counselor.
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- The Administrators' Archive
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- The Best Friends Reunited
| - Uncover both Goneril's Mallet and Regan's Lunchbox.
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| - Finish off Specialist Fenwick with at least four patients unconscious.
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| - Reach the end of Chapter 3 without rolling.
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| - Complete Hard Mode in under an hour.
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| - Reach the end of Chapter 4 in under an hour.
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| - Defeat Regan three times.
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| - Defeat His Natural Defenses after killing 21 spawned enemies.
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| - Defeat Cyndar's Timekeeper without using a time bubble.
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| - Beat the game five times.
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| - Complete all other achievements.
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| - Carry ten or more consumables at once.
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| - Defeat A Leafy Oversight after letting him absorb 6 or more spores.
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| - Meet your demise in Edgewood.
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| - Collect every single piece of lore.
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| - Defeat The Virtuoso while confused.
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| - Deal over 400 damage with a basic attack on an enemy.
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| - Heal only a single damage with a juice box.
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| - Defeat 500 enemies in the Edgewood Home for Lost Children.
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