| Achievement | How to unlock
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|---|
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- Being A Level Designer Means Never... (30 points)
| - Beat 'A Laser Danger Mess' without dying or using smash.
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- Bonus Content For All, And For All... (10 points)
| - Complete all the holiday levels.
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- Can't Touch This! (30 points)
| - Survive 40 seconds in 'Slow Dance' without dying.
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| - Go through five portals in Infinite Love Mode without dying.
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- Damn Right, It's Better Than Yours! (50 points)
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- Do Wanderers Dream of Mechanical Butts? (30 points)
| - Bounce on less than 7 arrows in 'A YOLO Snow Mess.'
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- Electronic Super Done! (120 points)
| - Get every Star, beat every Gold Time, and earn 0 deaths in every level.
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- Electronic Super King! (0 points)
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- Get To The Chopper! (30 points)
| - Clear level 'Over By Christmas' without dying and collect both Stars.
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- Green With EnV (10 points)
| - Clear 'A Jungle Welcome.'
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- Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza (30 points)
| - Clear 'Slow Dance' without killing anything.
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- How Four-tuitous! (50 points)
| - Defeat World 4 within 26 Minutes.
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- I'm a Star-vivor! (30 points)
| - Clear level 'Run Coward' without dying and collecting the Stars.
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- Infinite Lover (30 points)
| - Go through twenty-five portals in Infinite Love Mode without dying.
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- It's Called 'Butts' Now (10 points)
| - Clear Level 'Flap Your Brains Out.'
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- Jumping the Snowmouth! (30 points)
| - Bounce on exactly 22 arrows in 'A YOLO Snow Mess.'
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- Just Like My Ex (10 points)
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- Make Love, Not War (30 points)
| - Clear 'Babylon' without killing anything.
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- Mean Green Machine (10 points)
| - Clear every level in World 4.
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| - Clean the clock on all gold times in 'A Hot Sticky Mess.'
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| - Defeat World 1 within 10 minutes.
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| - Defeat The Groove Wizard.
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| - Go through ten portals in Infinite Love Mode without dying.
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- So Good I Ripped My Pants (10 points)
| - Clear 'Ol' Ball and Chain.
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- So Long And Thanks For All The Stars (50 points)
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- So Three-ling! (50 points)
| - Defeat World 3 within 22 minutes.
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- Spikey Problem (10 points)
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- Stomach of Steel (10 points)
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| - Go through fifteen portals in Infinite Love Mode without dying.
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- That was easy! (10 points)
| - Go through your first portal in Infinite Love Mode.
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- Thinking With Portals, Doing Science (30 points)
| - Take the shortest route in An Evil Portal Mess.
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| - Go through twenty portals in Infinite Love Mode without dying.
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| - Defeat World 2 within 17 minutes.
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| - Complete every level in 'A Hot Sticky Mess.'
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- Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle! (100 points)
| - Earn 0 deaths on every level.
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