| Achievement | How to unlock
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|---|
| - You accepted your fate and chose the name Douchebag yourself.
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| - You defeated the Grand Wizard Cartman in battle.
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| - You defeated Princess Kenny while looking like David Hasselhoff.
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| - While inside Mr. Slave, you summoned Mr. Slave.
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| - You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle.
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- Nonconformist (15 points)
| - You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.
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| - You defeated Princess Kenny while living with Dire AIDS.
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| - You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.
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| - You defeated Princess Kenny and recovered the Stick of Truth.
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| - You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus.
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- Two Girls, One Stick (15 points)
| - You defeated Princess Kenny in your girl makeover disguise.
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In the mission Beat Up Clyde, if you choose to walk out of the room with Mr. Slave rather than trying to deactivate the snuke, then you will witness a special alternate ending.
| Achievement | How to unlock
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|---|
- Animal Cruelty (15 points)
| - Fart on animals 25 times.
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| - Find Jesus while playing as a Jew.
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| - Kill 20 enemies with Cartman's ass.
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| - Defeat at least 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy is unconscious.
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- Canadian Handshake (15 points)
| |
- Chinpoko loco (30 points)
| |
- Chinpokolypse (75 points)
| - Collect all the Chinpokomon.
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- Clothes Whore (75 points)
| - Complete all available Costume Sets.
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| |
| - Defeat the Boss Hall Monitor while wearing freckles.
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| - Fart on a canine enemy while in Gnome form.
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| - Hit 3 enemies with a single fart outside of combat.
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- First Day in South Park (15 points)
| - Spend one day in South Park.
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- For the Hoarder (15 points)
| - Sell nothing the entire game.
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- Friends in Strange Places (15 points)
| - Befriend Crab People and Underpants Gnomes.
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| - Collect all the weapons and costumes available in the game.
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| - Let Gingers bite you 3 times without blocking.
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| - Defeat the Meth Tweekers while wearing the Evil Cartman goatee and the bald cap.
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- Irritable Bowels (15 points)
| - Shit your pants during a boss battle.
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| |
- Just Saying Hi (15 points)
| - Fart on each available buddy in the game.
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- Made This for You (15 points)
| - Fling a turd that you created at an enemy in combat.
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- Make it Rain! (15 points)
| |
| - Unlock all the upgrades for one of the New Kid's abilities.
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- More Popular Than Jesus (30 points)
| - Befriend Half of South Park.
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- New Kid On The Block (15 points)
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- No Child Left Behind (15 points)
| - Complete the game without ever ending a combat with a buddy knocked out.
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| - Open all garages in South Park.
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- Poco Chinpoko (15 points)
| |
| - Shit Your Pants in battle three times.
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| - Interrupt 5 channel attacks with a fart.
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| - Complete half of the available costume sets.
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| - Successfully block every enemy attack in a single, non-tutorial battle.
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- Skilled Defender (15 points)
| |
| - Fart on 10 enemies in the world when they're knocked out.
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- Truth to Power (15 points)
| - Fart on the Mayor, Father Maxi, Principal Vic, & Prime Minister.
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- Weapon Proficiency (15 points)
| - Score 100 perfect attacks.
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- You bastards! (15 points)
| - Have Kenny Die 10 times in battle over the course of the game.
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