| Achievement | How to unlock
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| - Earn all 21 stars in challenge mode.
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| - Switch between Brian and Stewie 10 times in Story mode.
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| - Taunt 5 times in a row with Peter.
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| - Kill 75 enemies with headshots.
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| - Survive 15 waves of enemies in Multiverse Madness.
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| - Survive 30 waves in Multiverse Madness.
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| - Complete the "Chicken Fight!" level.
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| - Complete the "Chickens In Space" level.
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| - Destroy all of the piñatas.
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| - Successfully complete your first kill of a member of the opposing team in Multiplayer.
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- Grease Can't Save You Now
| - Win a Capture the "Greased-Up Deaf Guy" match.
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| - Complete the "Handicapable" level.
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| - Kill an enemy with a single shot to the head.
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| - Acquire any collectible special inventory items and use it 25 times in Story Mode.
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| - Kill yourself with a grenade or satchel charge.
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| - Kill 60 enemies with grenades/explosives.
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| - Complete the "It's All Greek To Me" level.
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| - Kill 500 enemies using Brian.
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| - Win a deathmatch mode (free-for-all or as a team).
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| - Earn 10 stars in challenge mode.
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| - Shut out the other team from scoring in Capture the "Greased-Up Deaf Guy".
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| - Complete the "Long John Peter" level.
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- Mort Will Now Lend You Credit
| - Buy everything available in the Store.
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| - Select Meg as a character for a Multiplayer match.
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| - Perform a multi-kill with a melee weapon.
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| - Perform a multi-kill with a grenade.
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| - Complete the "No Cheese, Please" level.
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| - Complete the "No Place Like Home" level.
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| - Complete all secondary objectives.
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| - Successfully kill an enemy with one shot.
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| - Successfully collect $50,000.
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| - Hang around Quagmire in a baby costume for 30 seconds.
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| - Complete the "Pussy Whipped" level.
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| - Kill 3 members of the opposing team with a melee attack before you die in Multiplayer.
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| - Complete the "Santa's Sweatshop" level.
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| - Burn the Amish pot fields.
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| - Kill Meg during a Multiplayer Match.
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| - Complete the "Something's Amish" level.
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| - Kill 500 enemies using Stewie.
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| - Taunt a dead opponent with Quagmire in Multiplayer.
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| - Successfully perform a taunt 25 times.
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| - Get a 10 kill streak in Deathmatch.
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| - Unlock all other Achievements found in the game.
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| - Play poorly during the final showdown.
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| - Defeat 10 enemies with a melee weapon.
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| - Smash your opponent into something 20 times in the "Chicken Fight!" level.
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