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FAKE ELVIS: Say there son, move back a bit. Get offa me, the crowd can't see! I'd like to do one for my fans... Viva Las Vegas!!! Big Love, Big Heartache. I'm a hunka' hunka' burnin' love. Blue, Blue, Blue Suede Shoes... Aaaaain't nuthin' but a hownd dog! Wanna be in my next movie?? I like to shop in Michigan malls. Fast cars and fast food... This is my real hair? Is someone calling me? Time to return to my spaceship. DRUNK AT TABLE: Do I look very depressed? Have you been winning here?? It's just not fair.... Pat Quinn told me not to... ... I thought I hadda' ... All I needed was one more seven... Maybe If I'd taken one more card? You call this having fun? Steve Szpytek warned me about this. Next time I'll set a budget. This table understands me... I should have stayed home. Maybe my luck has changed.. Oooohhh, I need aspirin. SHRINER: This is the greatest!!! Better than Moose Lodge 101. Best convention ever!!! Much better than McCormick Place. Have you seen the Atari booth? Wanna see my secret handshake? Where is your hat??? What did your barber do to ya? Where is the waitress??? They don't like counters here. Steve Ryno can sure play slots! Can you always win? Always?? Can you lend me some dough? Can't seem to find a taxi... Isn't bungee jumpin' hazardous? JAPANESE TOURIST: So many games, so little time. Where can I convert some yen? Have you photo'd the volcano yet? Very picturesque... I'm going to need some film. Do you like the Mariners??? Godzilla vs. Mothra is the best! Bambi meets Godzilla was good. Are you interested in HDTV?? Is George Bush feeling better??? Does sushi mean 'dead fish'?? Do you own a Harley-Davidson? Who is Sergio Leone??? Atari, Atari, Atari Forever!! How do you get to Caesers?? WOMAN IN RED: Casinos are sooo exciting! I'm just naturally friendly. Yes, I do come here often. These shoes are killing me! Aren't you a bit young to be here? Are there pit bulls in here? I can't decide what to play next. I'd like to try some slots. Roulette is the game for me. Who is this Robb Mariani? Louis is just wonderful! Cliff Falls has the best voice! I just love Scrapyard Dog! Do you see a clock anywhere? COWBOY: Howdy pardner! Whhooo doggy! I love casinos!! Darn right I'm from Texas!!! I been lookin' for a new Eastwood. Hang 'Em High, son!!! Jumpin' Jehosafat, A Blackjack! Keep an eye on these shifty dealers. Home, Home on the range... I'd vote for Schwartzkopf!!! What a Ren & Stimpey look like? Excuse me, are you the Wadester? Oil ain't everything, son. What say we round up some fillies? Let's go get some prime rib. Can ya' steer me toward the circus? OLD WOMAN: Can I help you young man? Ehhh??? What's that??? Speak up!! You really ought to speak up. Hmmmmm... Hmmmmm... Hmmmmm... What's that you say??? Are you Larry Siegel??? Where is Craig Erickson? Where is Robert Urich now? Do I hear Elvis singing? My joints tell me it's going to rain. How fast can a Jaguar go? Which is faster, Viper or SR1 Turbo? Such a nice young man. Which way to Bally's??? | Submitted by Syndish
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