| Achievement | How to unlock
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- (Love Is) Thicker Than Water (10 points)
| - Unlock the Inflatiboat For Cars.
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| - In "Limocide", take out 50 pedestrians.
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- Assistant Professor (20 points)
| - In "The Great Hunt", find 6 regions.
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- Baby Come Back (10 points)
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- Baby on Board (10 points)
| - Aggressively warn a dozen pedestrians with the Traffic Coner.
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- Better Than Mama (25 points)
| - Get a better eSports Speedrun Time than the No Goblin team.
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| - Unlock the Multiplier Freezer.
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- Disco Inferno (20 points)
| - In "Destruction Derby", take out 8 cars.
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- Feels Like the First Time (10 points)
| - Purchase something from The Chrome Dome.
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- Feels So Good (25 points)
| - Reach 100% completion on a mission.
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- Fire and Rain (20 points)
| - In "Death from Above", survive for 30 seconds.
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- Fly Like an Eagle (10 points)
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- For the Love of Money (25 points)
| - Collect every Cash Stash.
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- Gonna Fly Now (25 points)
| - Accomplish every Sick Jump.
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- Hotel Roundabout (10 points)
| |
- I Will Survive (25 points)
| - Survive the Mountain Fair Demolition Derby without exploding.
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- I've Covered Wars, You Know (25 points)
| - Revolve over 53,596 times.
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- I've Made a Huge Mistake (25 points)
| |
- It's Tuesday! (79 points)
| - Stand still for a minute of silence at The Memorial.
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- Keep on Truckin' (25 points)
| - Unlock the Traffic Coner.
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| - Discover all of the horns.
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- Play That Funky Music (25 points)
| - Unlock the Beary Nice Music Box.
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- Pope on the Ropes (20 points)
| - In "Farming Simulator 1977", complete your farming in under 40 seconds.
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- Possession Obsession (25 points)
| - Purchase every hat and paint job.
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| - Unlock the Pickup Finder.
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- Rubberband Man (25 points)
| - Unlock the Reverser Wheel.
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- Smoke & Mirrors (51 points)
| - Drive the entire "classic" length of Desert Limo without crashing.
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| - Collect every star in a single ride.
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- Still the One (50 points)
| - Collect every star in every ride.
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- Straight to the Pool Room (20 points)
| - In "Ball Bouncers", bounce the ball at least 12 times.
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- Sweet Freedom (20 points)
| - In "Run Like Crazy", get 150 yards away.
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- That's Where The Happy People Go (10 points)
| - View the "How's Your Driving" screen outside of the DMV..
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- The Horn Proclaimers (25 points)
| - Honk your horn 500 times, then honk your horn 500 more.
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- True Maximilian (25 points)
| |
- Welcome to eSports (15 points)
| - Complete your first eSports Speedrun Challenge.
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- What a Fool Believes (50 points)
| - Reach 100% completion for the entire game.
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- Wheels of Steel (25 points)
| - Complete an eSports Speedrun without exploding.
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- You Spin Me Right Round (25 points)
| - Follow a lady into the big smoke.
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