| Achievement | How to unlock
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| - Defeat Satan in under 45 Minutes.
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| - Bested the Stranded Chuul.
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| - Bested the foremost combat expert in the Reich.
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| - You've bested Crossfit Satan! I wonder if he was the mastermind of your curse?
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| - Bested the circus trained SS Officer.
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| - Bested the Acursed Foreman.
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| - Defeat Satan in under 25 Minutes.
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| - Bested the lvl two dwarven fighter's worst nightmare.
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| - Bested that totally normal and not at all weird deer.
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| - Bested Phleshy, the Flesh Golem.
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| - Bested Charlie the Rat King.
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| - Uncovered the unnatural, subterranean Forest.
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| - Broke the seal, and stepped into Hell.
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| - Uncovered the Cursed Mines.
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| - Uncovered the Arcane Ruins.
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| - Rescued the Diesel-Punk combat drone.
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| - Rescued the squad Projectile Trajectory Expert.
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| - Rescued a loose soul, cursed to wait in the dirt for all eternity.
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| - Rescued the squad People-Fixer.
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| - Rescued designated Boom Expert.
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| - Rescued the squad Minister.
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| - Rescued the fabled Shrinking Shotgun Surgeon.
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| - Rescued the squad Trigger Finger.
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| - Rescued the squad designated Blood Sucker.
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| - Defeat Satan in under 35 Minutes.
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| - Bested the tallest hairdo in all the Axis Powers.
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| - Bested the speaker for the trees, who was silenced long ago.
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| - Bested the writhing Wurm of the deep.
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