| Achievement | How to unlock
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- 99 Problems (But A Buck Ain't One)
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| - Save yourself from burning up by jumping in water.
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| - Get all achievements in the game.
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| - Visit a backer character.
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| - Get killed by a Little Girl with a Teddy.
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| - Use The Boom Box 4 times in one game.
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| - Pop 8 or more Earthlings who are dancing at a boombox.
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- Broken Present Risk Taker
| - Successfully open 10 broken presents.
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| - Beat normal or hard mode without dying.
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- Cleaning Out Santa's Sack
| - Catch Santa 3 times in one game.
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| - Catch 5 elves in one game.
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| - Fall off levels 5 times in one game.
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| - Get to secret Funkotron Level via a secret doorway.
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| - Collect a locked present.
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- Flying Present Ultimate Master
| - Collect all of the locked presents.
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| - Eat every type of food in one game.
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| - Go for a ride in the Evil Elevator twice in one game.
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| - Visit all backer characters.
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| - Reach the rank of FunkLord.
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| - Pop a mole who has stolen one or more of your presents.
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| - Pop at least one of every bad Earthling type in one game.
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| - Make other player snap out of being in love by slapping them.
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| - Open the Major Randomizer or Baby Randomizer 3 times in one game.
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| - Hit and leave through the very first exit in the HyperFunk Zone.
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| - Hi-Five another player 3 times in one game.
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- I Can't Believe I've Done This
| - Get a game over before level 3.
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| - Use Heal Friend Present on another player 10 times in one game.
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| - Beat normal or hard world without opening a single present.
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| - Complete the HyperFunk Zone.
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| - Complete a random world game.
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| - Uncover all the map tiles for 3 levels within one game.
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| - Play as each of the playable characters.
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| - Play as both old Skool TJ and as Old Skool Earl in a single game (co-op)
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| - Beat normal or hard mode without popping a single Earthling.
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| - Complete a fixed world game.
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| - Beat the 5th level in Rhythm Matching.
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| - Give a life to another player 3 times in one game.
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| - Get hit by Cupid's arrow 5 times in one game.
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| - Hide in sunflowers 4 times in a game when being chased by an Earthling.
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| - Complete a game with a friend (local or online)
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| - Open an unidentified Major Randomizer, Total Bummer, or Instant Demotion after level 20.
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| - Open unidentified presents 15 times in one game.
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| - Open the Total Bummer twice in one game.
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| - Send an identified bad present to another player.
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| - Make other player wake up by shouting at them.
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- Why Do I Keep Doing That?
| - Have 10 broken presents blow up on you.
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