| Achievement | How to unlock
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| - Decipher an Egyptian text.
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| - Rip 10 Juvenile spiders apart.
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| - Complete the game in single player on unmodified serious difficulty.
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| - Complete a Beast Hunt match
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| - Kill 3 enemies in one sprint with the Sledgehammer.
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| - Smash 20 Kleers with the Sledgehammer.
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| - Squash 10 Hatchling spiders.
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| - Rip out 10 Rocketeer hearts.
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| - Kill at least 5 headless kamikazes in one explosion.
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| - Kill at least 3 enemies in one spinning Sledgehammer attack.
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| - Find sam's classic outfit
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| - Kill 5 Cave Demons while they're in air.
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| - Complete any level in cooperative with at least 2 players.
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| - Complete the campaign in cooperative with at least 2 players.
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| - Complete a Coin-op cooperative game on normal or higher difficulty.
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| - Complete a deathmatch game with at least 1 frag.
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| - Score a total of 10 points in CTF matches.
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- Get the hell off my ride!
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| - Earn a gold medal in Survival.
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| - Frag 20 players with the Sledgehammer.
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| - Win one My Burden match with at least 3 players.
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| - Make at least 3 kills in one Instant Kill match.
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| - Kill an enemy using the Mutilator.
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| - Perform all possible finishing moves in the game.
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| - Win one round in Last Man Standing game with at least 4 players.
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| - Pick up at least 10 extra life items.
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| - Rip scrapjack's head off.
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| - Find at least 50 secrets in single player.
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| - Blow a Major Biomechanoid into pieces.
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| - Decipher all Egyptian texts.
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| - Complete the game in single player without manually reloading, aiming or sprinting.
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| - Kill a Witch-Bride of Achriman.
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| - Solve the riddle of the Sphynx.
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| - Complete The Guardian of Time in single player on serious difficulty without dying or loading.
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| - Use the Mutilator to surf after a Werebull.
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| - Complete any level in single player.
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| - Complete the game in single player in half the estimated time on each level.
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| - Complete the single player campaign.
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| - Pierce 5 enemies with one Devastator round.
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| - Earn a medal in Survival.
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- The doorman should wear a suit
| - Awake the Guardian of Time.
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| - Find all secrets in single player.
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| - Kill the kicked enemy while it is still in the air.
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| - Gib 20 enemies from close range with a shotgun.
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| - Kill an enemy with a gib torn from another enemy.
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| - Kill 20 enemies with the Minigun without releasing the trigger.
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| - Rescue professor Stein. So to say.
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