| Achievement | How to unlock
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| - Obtain a Legendary Agent.
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| - Kill 500 hostiles with the Magnum.
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| - Spill 1,000,000 units of blood.
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- Beaten, broken, scarred but still breathing
| - Use over 100 first aid kits in total.
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| - Kill 500 hostiles with the Boom Stick.
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| - Spill 500,000 units of blood.
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| - Upgrade a weapon to Mark 2.
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| - Fully upgrade an agent's Death State stat.
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| - Kill 500 hostiles with the Laser Canon.
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- Fire in the disco! Fire at the gates of hell!
| - Fully upgrade an agent's Flame Weapons stat.
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| - Fully upgrade an agent's Health stat.
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| - Fully upgrade the ship's medical bay.
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- Good lord you could take someone's eye out with that thing...
| - Upgrade a weapon to Mark 5.
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| - Kill 500 hostiles with the Volcano Flamethrower.
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| - Increase an agent's rank from Novice to Adept.
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- I can shoot a mosquito in the dark with my eyes closed
| - Fully upgrade an agent's Accuracy stat.
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| - Unlock a stats effect on a Weapon.
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| - Kill 5000 hostiles in total.
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| - Fully upgrade all of an agent's stats.
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- Oh man, it's all over my face...
| - Fully upgrade an agent's Plasma Weapons stat.
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| - Kill 500 hostiles with the Minigun.
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| - Fully upgrade an agent's Weight Capacity stat.
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| - Use 500 grenades in total.
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| - Fully upgrade an agent's Pistol stat.
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| - Fully upgrade an agent's Shotgun stat.
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| - Kill 500 hostiles with the Stormgun.
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| - Fully upgrade the ship's sleeping quarters.
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| - Kill 500 hostiles with the Chainsaw Knife.
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- Seriously, who put you in charge?
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| - Fully upgrade the ship's pulse shot.
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| - Add 3 augments to a piece of heavy armour.
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| - Equip a fully upgraded veteran agent with maxed out armour and weapons.
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- The pointy end! I said to use the pointy end!
| - Fully upgrade an agent's Melee stat.
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| - Increase an agent's rank from Adept to Veteran.
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- Tough outer shell, delicious centre
| - Fully upgrade an agent's Armour stat.
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| - Fully upgrade the ship's cargo hold.
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| - Fully upgrade an agent's Automatics stat.
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| - Complete all ship upgrades.
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- ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzzzzAAAAAppp!!!!
| - Fully upgrade an agent's Electric Weapon's stat.
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