| Achievement | How to unlock
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- Ain't Nobody Got Time for That
| - Have at least twenty units mounted on wall pillars at the same time during a single ranked multiplayer match.
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| - Win all missions and complete all bonus objectives in the Beta campaign on any difficulty.
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| - Complete the Goo campaign on any difficulty.
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| - Complete the Mago's Pass mission without losing a single civilian.
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| - Win all missions and complete all bonus objectives in the campaign on hard difficulty.
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| - Complete all missions of the campaign on any difficulty.
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| - Build the Epic unit for each faction.
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| - Destroy each faction's Epic unit during a multiplayer or skirmish match.
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| - Win a one-on-one multiplayer match.
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| - Win all missions and complete all bonus objectives in the Goo campaign on any difficulty.
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| - Have at least 3 of every Sentinel type in your base at once during a single ranked multiplayer match.
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| - Win 100 multiplayer matches of any size or mode.
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| - Win all missions and complete all bonus objectives in the Human campaign on any difficulty.
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| - Win a multiplayer match after destroying an enemy Epic unit.
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| - Complete all missions of the campaign on Hard difficulty.
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| - Win a skirmsh match against 3 AI opponents on hard difficulty.
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| - Win a skirmish match against the AI with each of the factions.
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| - Win 100 skirmish matches.
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| - As Human or Beta, complete a multiplayer or skirmish match without ever hitting the resource cap.
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| - Use the Teleporter structure at least 3 times and teleport at least 5 structures during a single ranked multiplayer match.
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| - During a multiplayer match, build the maximum possible number of units.
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| - Complete the Beta campaign on any difficulty.
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- One Player to Rule Them All
| - Win a four player free-for-all match.
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| - Complete the Human campaign on any difficulty.
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| - Win a skirmish match against an AI.
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| - Heal 1000 or more damage using the Repair Pad structure during a single ranked multiplayer match.
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| - Feed a Mother Goo to a Proto-Purger.
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| - Destroy 5 Extractors or Mother Goos with a Mother Goo in a single ranked multiplayer match.
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| - Win a 2v2 multiplayer match.
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| - Win all missions and complete all bonus objectives in the campaign on any difficulty.
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- Weapon of Mass Destruction
| - Win a skirmish or multiplayer match in Total Annihilation mode.
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| - Consume 100 enemy units or structures with formless Goo in a ranked multiplayer match.
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