| Achievement | How to unlock
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| - Defeat the Battlelord on the Hoover Dam.
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| - Win air hockey with a score of 7-0 in the strip club.
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| - Earn a 1,000,000 pinball score in SP.
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| - Shoot down 20 alien fighters.
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- Beating the One-Eyed Worm
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| - Blow up 5 enemy gunships or dropships.
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| - Find all 3 helmets in the SP campaign.
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| - Listen to all phone messages.
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| - Complete the SP campaign on Hard Difficulty.
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| - Unlock the secret closet at the end of the Forkstop.
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| - Complete the SP campaign on Insane Difficulty.
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| - Kill 10 aliens with environmental explosives.
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| - Doodle something on the whiteboard in SP.
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| - Kill 15 aliens with melee attacks while on steroids.
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| - Kill 6 aliens with the forklift.
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| - Get knocked down 10 times.
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| - Carry the gold pistol through the whole SP campaign.
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| - Discover all ego cap rewards.
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| - Look at every page of a calendar in SP.
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| - Get hit by 10 Pregnator bombs.
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| - Complete the SP campaign on Normal Difficulty.
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| - Win a game of Alien Abortion in the strip club.
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| - Knock out the talent at the talk show.
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| - Eat 10 pieces of food during the SP campaign.
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| - Kill 30 aliens with headshots.
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| - Drink all of the beers in the strip club.
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| - Kill all of the catfish in the underwater level.
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| - Complete the SP campaign on Easy Difficulty.
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| - Defeat the Battlelord in Las Vegas.
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| - Kill 15 aliens with the monster truck.
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| - Watch the credits all the way through.
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| - Put a Trip Mine on a live alien.
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| - Drink beer while on steroids or vice-versa in SP.
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| - Shoot down the blimp above the stadium.
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- Tosser... in the Literal Sense
| - Kill 10 aliens with tossed objects.
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| - Kill 10 aliens with trip mines.
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| - Find and steal a piece of poo.
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