| Achievement | How to unlock
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- A Story about my elevator
| - Get up on the skyscraper without using the elevator.
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| - Throw the dwarf Bilbo into the lava.
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- Around the World on 5 Trampolines
| - Visit 5 trampolines in one jump, bouncing on each trampoline once.
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- Better than Warlords of Dredmor
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| - Hit the party with the Boulder of Death.
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| - Do a lot of hurt. With your butt.
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| - Drag a person into the treadmill with your tongue.
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| - Ride the boat while on a sugar rush.
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| - Have 10 gas cannisters explode at the same time.
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| - We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.
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| - Why did you step in that? Yuck.
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| - Make sure the Hillbilly never drives again.
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| - Unlock the ExcaliGoat mutator.
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| - Become the master of the goat tower.
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| - Kick something in the air while doing a backflip.
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| - Everything the light touches is your kingdom.
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| - Become the Queen of Goat Ville.
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| - Get on top of the Parkour obstacle course.
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| - Unlock the gravity goat mutator.
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| - Wield an axe with your tongue.
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- I can't believe that worked
| - Do 10 front flips in one trick.
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| - Find all collectibles on level 2.
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| - Ooops, the game seems to have crashed.
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| - Lick the rollercoaster with 6 batteries attached.
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| - Unlock the jousting mutator.
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| - Find the Sanctum 2 Walker Statue.
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| - Find all the trophies on the MMO Level.
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| - Bounce 100 times on mattresses within 30 seconds.
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| - Knock a bucket into a person.
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| - Unlock the mermaid mutator.
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| - Get deviously trapped again.
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| - OMG IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?
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- One man, two shots and a religion
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| - Find the Sanctum 1 Walker Statue.
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| - Kick a person into a car.
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| - Visit all zones on the MMO level.
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| - Finish all wallrun quest.
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| - Do a card trick at the magician.
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| - Get to a depth of 200 in SteamWorld Goat.
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| - Give Steve Works the apples.
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| - Score 10 points in Flappy Goat.
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| - It never erupts when you want it to.
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| - Paint with all the colors of the wind.
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| - Finish all manual quests.
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| - Find all the trophies in Goat Ville!
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- Trying to bring forth Sanctum 3?
| - Sacrifice the 3 Sanctum items.
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| - Go on the catapult with a rider on your back.
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| - Unlock the wheel of time mutator.
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