| Achievement | How to unlock | Points
|
|---|
| ...Why? | Destroy all the engines on the airship. (Are you not afraid to fall?) | 15
|
| Always on the Move | Finish a level without remaining idle for a total of 1 minute. | 45
|
| And Stay Out! | Destroy all the doors on "Tower". | 15
|
| Anyway, I Started Blastin' | Take the first shot in the game. | 15
|
| Ascension to Madness | Complete "Tower" on any difficulty. | 15
|
| Based | Complete "Base" on any difficulty. | 35
|
| Check My Credentials | Reach the maximum Rank. | 35
|
| Concentrate Your Fire! | Defeat the Monster House on "City" without destroying more than one Meat Generator. | 30
|
| Destruction of Property | Defeat the Monster House on "City" after destroying all four Meat Generators. | 35
|
| Eye See You! | Defeat the Meat Prophet on "Moon" without destroying any of the eyeball turrets. | 30
|
| I'll Be Back | Get to the "Game Over" screen for the first time. Your sacrifice will not be in vain. | 15
|
| Iron Blooded | Defeat the Iron Meat on "Moon Base" on any difficulty. | 30
|
| Just Walking My Dog | Complete "City" within 10 minutes on Hard difficulty. | 45
|
| Keeping it Polished | Defeat the three Meat Bulbs on "Tower" without getting hit by a yellow light pillar. | 35
|
| Lend Me Your Strength! | Finish "Forest" without letting any friendly items from allies touch the ground. | 35
|
| Lights OUT! | Destroy every letter on the "LEVEL CLEAR" sign. | 5
|
| Longing for Home | Remain idle for one minute on "Moon" with Earth visible in the background. | 10
|
| Lunar Conqueror | Complete "Moon" on any difficulty. | 45
|
| Lunar Olympics | Escape the collapsing Moon Base within 40 seconds. | 35
|
| Package is Secure | Complete "Train" without destroying any boxes. | 35
|
| Questionable Allegiance | Complete "Forest" without destroying any Meat turrets. | 10
|
| Quickdraw | On "City", destroy the first Meat Car without letting a Sniper shoot. | 30
|
| Reversal of Fate | Complete every level in the game with the "Sasha" Skin. | 45
|
| Right of Passage | Defeat Yuri Markov without jumping to any of the left side bodies. | 45
|
| Saboteurs Fly Free | Complete "Sky" on any difficulty. | 20
|
| Slayer of Meat | Earn every other Achievement in the game. | 70
|
| Strolling Through the Forest | Complete "Forest" on any difficulty. | 5
|
| Swimming in Fire | Complete "City" on any difficulty. | 10
|
| The Last Man on the Moon | Escape the Moon Base as it's exploding. | 15
|
| The Results of My Training | Complete "Tower" on Normal or higher difficulty without losing a single life. | 35
|
| Through the Gate | Complete "Skyscraper" on any difficulty. | 20
|
| To Fight Another Day | Beat the game on any difficulty. | 70
|
| Unsanitary Conditions | Destroy a full Meat Chain on "Tower". | 15
|
| Unwelcome Passengers | Complete "Train" on any difficulty. | 5
|
| You Crazy Fool! | You fail to escape the collapsing Moon Base. | 45
|