| Achievement | How to unlock
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|---|
| B Sharp ( 25 points ) | Get 3 music questions correct in JACK Pack 2
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| Boob Tuber ( 25 points ) | Get 3 TV questions correct in JACK Pack
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| Incurable Hoarder ( 30 points ) | Collect all 10 prizes in JACK Pack
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| JACK Crack ( 20 points ) | Play all episodes in JACK Pack 3
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| JACK Smack ( 20 points ) | Play all episodes in JACK Pack 2
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| JACK Wrack ( 20 points ) | Play all episodes in JACK Pack
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| Lit Twit ( 25 points ) | Get 3 literature questions correct in JACK Pack
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| Map Dancer ( 25 points ) | Get 3 geography questions correct in JACK Pack
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| Math Head ( 25 points ) | Get 3 math questions correct in JACK Pack 2
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| Nest Egghead ( 30 points ) | Collect all 10 prizes in JACK Pack 2
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| Past Perfect ( 25 points ) | Get 3 history questions correct in JACK Pack 3
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| Sci Fly ( 25 points ) | Get 3 science questions correct in JACK Pack 3
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| Steaming Stockpile ( 30 points ) | Collect all 10 prizes in JACK Pack 3
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| Super Know-va ( 25 points ) | Get 3 astrology questions correct in JACK Pack 2
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| Wizard of Balls ( 25 points ) | Get 3 sports questions correct in JACK Pack 3
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| Achievement | How to unlock
|
|---|
| 100,000aire! ( 10 points ) | Earn $100,000 lifetime.
|
| 500,000aire! ( 25 points ) | Earn $500,000 lifetime.
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| Always a Bridesmaid ( 10 points ) | Come in second place 5 times in multiplayer games.
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| Back Taxes ( 40 points ) | Win all prizes in Episodes 1-73.
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| Beast Master ( 40 points ) | Get 10 animal questions correct ( excluding downloadable content).
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| Beat a Winner ( 40 points ) | Beat someone with a rating of Unicorn in an Xbox LIVE Match.
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| Birth Certificate ( 5 points ) | Create a contestant.
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| Button Banger ( 15 points ) | Get a multiple choice question right in the first 2 seconds.
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| Consolation Achievement ( 20 points ) | Play 5 hours without getting a single achievement.
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| DisOrDash ( 30 points ) | Ace a DisOrDat in under 10 seconds.
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| DisOrDat Participation Award ( 5 points ) | Complete DisOrDat in 30 seconds.
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| Discover Gauntlet of Fire ( 10 points ) | Find the very important gauntlet of fire.
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| DisorDat Destroyer ( 15 points ) | Answer all 7 DisOrDat items correctly.
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| Enscrewsiast ( 15 points ) | Screw 50 times.
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| Film in Your Brain ( 40 points ) | Get 10 movie questions correct ( excluding downloadable content).
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| Genius for a Day ( 30 points ) | Score at least $30,000 over your average.
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| Great Crowd ( 20 points ) | Laugh at an easy joke.
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| It's Just More of This ( 5 points ) | Finish an episode.
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| Jack Attack Dog ( 50 points ) | Get all 7 Jack Attack questions correct in a multiplayer game without messing up.
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| Living in the Past ( 40 points ) | Get 10 history questions correct ( excluding downloadable content).
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| Lose to a Loser ( 15 points ) | Lose an Xbox LIVE match to someone with a rating at or below Dullard.
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| Menage-a-Quatre ( 20 points ) | Complete a 4-player match on Xbox LIVE.
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| Mouth-Breather ( 30 points ) | Achieve the third-highest rating.
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| My First Time ( 10 points ) | Screw someone for the first time.
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| One Teat Short of an Udder ( 40 points ) | Achieve the second-highest rating.
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| Overconsumer ( 20 points ) | Listen to all the commercials during the credits.
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| Perfect Attendance ( 73 points ) | Play episodes 1-73.
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| Phatty ( 40 points ) | Get 10 food questions correct ( excluding downloadable content).
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| Quick-Draw McDumbass ( 5 points ) | Choose wrong answer within the first 3 seconds 10 times.
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| Slack Attack ( 37 points ) | Get -$1 million on a Jack Attack.
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| Smelt the Roses ( 15 points ) | Get a multiple choice question right in the last 1 second.
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| Social Outcast ( 15 points ) | Finish 5 single-player games on Friday or Saturday nights.
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| Taking It from Behind ( 25 points ) | Come from behind to win during the Jack Attack.
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| The Game's Half Empty ( 5 points ) | Play episodes 1-37.
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| The Game's Half Full ( 5 points ) | Play episodes 1-36.
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| The Regis ( 50 points ) | Earn $1,000,000 lifetime points.
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| Turncoat ( 10 points ) | Play on July 4th instead of celebrating America.
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| Unicorn ( 50 points ) | Achieve the highest gamer rating.
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| Vidiot Savant ( 50 points ) | Get every question right in an episode.
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| Virtual Virgin ( 20 points ) | Answer correctly after being screwed 5 times.
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