| Achievement | How to unlock
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| 21st Century Schizoid Man ( 15 points ) | Complete level 21 ( "Tyger Tyger" points ) either in Local Co-Op, Xbox LIVE, or Uberschizoid.
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| Barber Of Schizzville ( 20 points ) | Shave the Orbiddles from 8 Astramoebas on a level, without destroying Astramoebas or losing a life.
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| Corpus Callosum Severed ( 20 points ) | Complete level 119 ( "Ragnarok" points ) in Uberschizoid mode.
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| Flitt Breeder ( 10 points ) | Get a gold medal on level 5 ( "My Man Flitt" points ) without destroying any Flitts.
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| Huevos Done Naked ( 20 points ) | Gold level 47 ( "Los Huevos" points ) without activating any powerups.
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| One Mind, Two Goals ( 20 points ) | Earn 20 silver or gold medals in Uberschizoid mode.
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| Playing The Field ( 15 points ) | Play a game in each mode - Xbox LIVE, Local Co-Op, Wingman Bot Training, and Uberschizoid.
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| Schiz Hunter ( 20 points ) | Destroy 30 Schizzes on a single level, using powerups and without losing any lives.
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| Schizoid Sensei ( 20 points ) | Earn 10 medals ( any combination of gold, silver, and bronze points ) over Xbox LIVE.
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| Seafood Buffet ( 20 points ) | Destroy 2500 Scorpios.
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| Sploderific ( 10 points ) | Destroy all enemies on level 12 ( "Smartbomb" points ) with a single smartbomb.
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| Wired ( 10 points ) | Destroy an enemy with a razorwire.
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