| Trophy | How to unlock | Type
|
|---|
| Circular Logic | Attempt to mask your intoxication via greater intoxication. | Bronze
|
| Dramatic Pause | Take a long sip of water before continuing on with your stunning tirade. | Bronze
|
| Duly Noted | Unsuccessfully attempt to mitigate your evasiveness in the opening questionnaire. | Bronze
|
| En Francais | Respond to the French recording in your very best French. | Bronze
|
| Grand Victory | Falsify your way into being touched by a member of the opposite sex. | Bronze
|
| Great Guy | Speak insincerely with every unimportant person in the game. | Silver
|
| Sore Loser | 'Accidentally' scratch the felt on the airport pool table. | Bronze
|
| The Best Policy | Awarded in recognition of your contribution to the arts. | Gold
|
| The Good Life | Start a new life with your loving family in a better place. | Silver
|
| True Justice | Have your life restored in a manner befitting your worth. | Silver
|
| Whiplash | Force an inane conversation about every single car in the showroom. | Bronze
|