| Trophy | How to unlock
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| Actually, that would make me like her more. And to be clear, what I mean is, if she IS a little weird, I'd like that. (Silver) | Get any two characters to level 15.
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| Amy keeps looking at me and smiling. That's weird. It's cool, but it's weird. (Bronze) | Smasher SMASH!!!!
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| But I mean, why wouldn't I be? This class sucks so bad. (Bronze) | Get 1st place in 25 ranked Deathmatch games.
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| I hate my stupid stepdad. (Bronze) | Get 1st place in any ranked game.
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| I wasn't saying I'd like her more if she wanted to get with Abe Lincoln. That'd be super gross cuz hes dead. And very tall. (Gold) | Get 3rd place or above in 300 games in any ranked game mode.
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| I wonder if she likes me. How amazing would that be? (Bronze) | Reach floor 15 of any month's tower.
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| I'm getting hungry. (Bronze) | Get your first kill in any ranked game.
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| Maybe I'll say I need to go to the bathroom. (Bronze) | Use all Alientown warps in one match including secret warps!
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| Maybe she just feels sorry for me. Or maybe she's smiling at someone behind me? (Silver) | Get 1000 total kills in ranked games.
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| Nope there's just a poster of Abraham Lincoln behind me. She could be smiling at the poster, I guess? That'd be so weird. (Silver) | Play and finish 50 games in any ranked game mode.
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| Oh crap, did I brush my teeth today? (Bronze) | Get 20 total kills in ranked games.
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| Or maybe I'm just bored. I think that's it I'm bored. (Bronze) | Get 100 total kills in ranked games.
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| Then I'll just hide in a stall and watch videos till class ends. (Bronze) | Discover granny's terrible secret!
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