| Achievement | How to unlock
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| Bad at Videogames | Fall off the dock an unacceptable number of times.
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| Corporate Ladder | Sorry, you can't climb those ladders, but here's an achievement.
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| Corporate Takeover | Take down Chet's sphere by getting to the controls instead of throwing things at it.
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| Golden Parachute | Catch big air with a pigeon.
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| Good at Videogames | Get farther than the developers could in endless mode.
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| Historical Accuracy | Stage Haymarket reenactment.
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| Joined the Conversation | Offer friendly riot police officers a coke.
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| Liberation! | Unlock all three extra workers at level start.
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| Net Gains | Capture a slippery capitalist in a net.
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| Not Now | Liberate a building at the worst possible time.
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| Obtain Boots | Less knockback from fire hoses.
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| Obtain Bulletproof Vest | Bullets do less damage.
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| Obtain Chainsaw | So gross.
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| Obtain Fishing Nets | Trap enemies in place.
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| Obtain Gas Masks | Dystopian chic.
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| Obtain Haymarket Bomb | A powerful historical artifact!
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| Obtain Monkey Wrench | Sabotage shuriken.
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| Obtain Pipe Wrench | Heavy-hitting pipe fitting.
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| Obtain Popsi Cans | What a treat!
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| Obtain Riot Dog | A faithful comrade in battle.
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| Obtain Riot Shield | I'm rubber, and you're glue.
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| Obtain Snowballs | Stop your opponents cold.
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| Obtain Socialized Medicine | Regain Lost Health.
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| Obtain Solidarity Megaphone | Temporary boost to workers.
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| Obtain Sunglasses | To better deal with lasers.
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| Obtain Throwing Wood Axe | Sport of the future.
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| Obtain Tracksuit | Run faster. Cheeki Breeki.
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| Pacifist | Get through any street fighting level without throwing anything or hurting anyone.
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| Skippity Skip, Skip | Get a ride with GuaiHair.
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| Yeet the Rich | Overthrow the regime.
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| You Can Definitely Outrun Them | Avoid fighting every segway cop in a level.
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