| Achievement | How to unlock
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| Death by Grenades | Kill yourself using your own grenades.
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| Death by Rocket Launcher | Blow yourself up with a rocket launcher.
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| Flag Fetcher | Return the cursed flag to Lady Tallowmere without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Flag Runner | Return the flag without dropping it, and without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Heal Please | Receive healing from Lady Tallowmere while on 1 health.
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| Hydra Slayer | Defeat the three-headed Hydra without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Legendary Headgear | Acquire a 5-star piece of headgear without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Legendary Outfit | Acquire a 5-star outfit without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Legendary Shieldbearer | Acquire a 5-star shield without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Legendary Weaponry | Acquire a 5-star weapon without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Mmm, Tasty | Sacrifice all nine kittens and die a little inside.
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| Mythical Headgear | Acquire a 6-star piece of headgear without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Mythical Outfit | Acquire a 6-star outfit without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Mythical Shieldbearer | Acquire a 6-star shield without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Mythical Weaponry | Acquire a 6-star weapon without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Nightmare Begone | Defeat Jazza without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Otherworldly Headgear | Acquire a 7-star piece of headgear without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Otherworldly Outfit | Acquire a 7-star outfit without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Otherworldly Shieldbearer | Acquire a 7-star shield without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Otherworldly Weaponry | Acquire a 7-star weapon without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Rescue Lady Tallowmere | Free Lady T from her peril without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Room 10 | Make it to Room 10 without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Room 20 | Make it to Room 20 without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Room 30 | Make it to Room 30 without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Room 40 | Make it to Room 40 without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Room 50 | Make it to Room 50 without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Room 60 | Make it to Room 60 without sacrificing any kittens.
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| Stealthy Backstab | While stealthed with the Emerald Dagger, stab an enemy in the back.
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