| Achievement | How to unlock
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| 50/50 | Destroy 50 enemies.
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| Age of Conquest | Clear the entire Mountain Biome.
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| Beast Mode | Destroy 6,500 enemies!
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| Bob Killer | You destroyed an entire world! YOU MONSTER!!
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| Carnage Master | Destroy 4,000 enemies!
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| Century of Pain | Destroy 100 enemies.
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| Century of Riches | Pick up 100 coins.
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| Continuer | Pickin' up where you left off, old friend...
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| Dark Tidings | You beat the game and cleared the last biome campaign!
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| Daylight | It's day time! WOOT WOOT!
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| Double Bossin' It | Destroy 2,000 enemies!
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| Dusk Dare | Dare ye to fight a boss at dusk? DARE YE?!
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| Evening Hours | The sun is setting and you're achieving...
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| Hatterific | You've got fashion, and the hats to prove it!
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| I Got One! | Pick up one coin. Woo..
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| Insanity | Complete the whole game without taking any damage.
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| JOY! I Got Twenty | Pick up 20 coins.
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| King Tutorial | Thou knowest how to play this game now!
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| Leafing the Forest | You're TREE to move on! OH HAR HAR!
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| Makin' It Rain | Pick up 250 coins.
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| Master of Disguise | You sure do have a lot of costumes!
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| Money Maker | Pick up 5,000 coins!
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| Money Master | Pick up 2,000 coins!
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| Morning Riser | Wakey wakey all ye. . . wakey. People. Uh...
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| Mountain Man | You've completed the first biome campaign. YAHOO!
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| Night Owl | You're playing in the dark. What a HOOT!
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| Pentacash | Pick up 500 coins.
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| Pentasplosion Redux | Destroy 1,500 enemies.
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| Quarter Killer | Destroy 250 enemies.
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| Rain Man | It's raining, and I'm an excellent driver...
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| Sands of Sacrifice | Clear the entire Desert Biome.
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| Scary Good Job! | You took care of that biome, pumpkin.
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| Startup | Looks like you made a new game!
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| Tell Your Mummy | The sand couldn't hold you back!
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| TENacious | Destroy ten enemies.
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| The End | Yeah, I know. . . the story videos could use work...
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| The Grim Reaper | Destroy 10,000 enemies!
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| The Pentasplosion | Destroy 500 enemies.
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| Too Many Coins! | Pick up 11,000 coins!!
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| Total Pwnage! | All 160 levels? You are SERIOUS about this game!
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| Trey | You know, as in 'the 3rd.' Because you used. . . you get it!
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| Upgrade Beast | I wish there were more upgrades for you to buy, but there ain't!
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| What A Boss! | Destroy 1,000 enemies!
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| You Got Skulls | Clear the entire Graveyard Biome.
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| You Woodn't! | Clear the entire Forest Biome.
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