| Achievement | How to unlock
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| A Complete Set | Unlock every achievement!
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| All Abilities | Unlock every ability.
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| All-Out Brawl | Beat level 4.
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| Anti-Mage | Kill 666 Fire Mages.
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| Anti-Maniac | Kill 666 Maniacs.
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| Arachnids | Beat level 8.
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| Armor | Obtain the fully upgraded hidden ability "Armor".
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| Assault Rifle | Get a level 3 copy of "Assault Rifle".
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| Axle Breaker | Kill 1 Wheelman.
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| Bananarang | Get a level 3 copy of "Bananarang".
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| Berserker Mode | Obtain the fully upgraded hidden ability "Berserker Mode".
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| Berserk | Kill 999 Black Swordsmen.
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| Blaster | Get a level 3 copy of "Blaster".
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| Bloody Swan Lake | Kill 3000 Ballerinas.
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| Bonus Bonus | Obtain the fully upgraded hidden ability "Bonus Bonus".
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| Bonus Health | Obtain the fully upgraded hidden ability "Bonus Health".
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| Brain Brawl | Kill 3000 Brains.
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| Caliperang | Get a level 3 copy of "Caliperang".
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| Can Opener | Kill 300 Bots.
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| Candy Bomb | Get a level 3 copy of "Candy Bomb".
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| Coin Launcher | Get a level 3 copy of "Coin Launcher".
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| Critical Strike | Obtain the fully upgraded hidden ability "Critical Strike".
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| Damage Reflect | Obtain the fully upgraded hidden ability "Damage Reflect".
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| Dark Side of the Force | Kill 600 Laser Swordsmen.
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| Dark Side | Get a level 3 copy of "Dark Side".
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| Demolisher | Kill 200 Shieldbearers.
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| Disco | Get a level 3 copy of "Disco".
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| EA Finale | Beat level 10.
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| Efficient Economy | Obtain the fully upgraded hidden ability "Efficient Economy".
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| Entangled | Beat level 9.
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| Evasion | Obtain the fully upgraded hidden ability "Evasion".
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| Fiery Horizon | Get a level 3 copy of "Fiery Horizon".
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| Fire Beam | Get a level 3 copy of "Fire Beam".
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| Flammable Concoction | Obtain the fully upgraded hidden ability "Flammable Concoction".
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| Flashes | Get a level 3 copy of "Flashes".
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| Forest of Daggers | Beat level 6.
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| Fragility | Obtain the fully upgraded hidden ability "Fragility".
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| Ghostbuster | Kill 6000 Specters.
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| Hallway of Death | Beat level 2.
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| Heretic's Fork | Get a level 3 copy of "Heretic's Fork".
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| Homing Loogie | Get a level 3 copy of "Homing Loogie".
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| Human Hordes | Beat level 3.
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| Hunger | Kill 50 Fridge Men.
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| Hunter | Kill 10 Thornies.
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| I Hate the Circus | Kill 1000 Stilt-Walkers.
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| Killing the Villains | Kill 5000 Doc Ocs.
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| Maintenance Facility | Beat level 1.
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| Melee | Obtain the fully upgraded hidden ability "Melee".
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| Meteorite Satellites | Get a level 3 copy of "Meteorite Satellites".
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| Money Box | Get a level 3 copy of "Money Box".
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| Needle Shotgun | Get a level 3 copy of "Needle Shotgun".
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| Nuggets of Darkness | Get a level 3 copy of "Nuggets of Darkness".
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| Obedient Doc | Get a level 3 copy of "Obedient Doc".
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| Obedient Zombie | Get a level 3 copy of "Obedient Zombie".
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| Olive Gun | Get a level 3 copy of "Olive Gun".
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| One By One | Beat level 7.
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| Penetration | Obtain the fully upgraded hidden ability "Penetration".
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| Pesticides | Kill 300 Mantraps.
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| Pew Pew | Beat level 5.
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| Pistol | Get a level 3 copy of "Pistol".
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| Poke the Hive | Kill 10000 Bees.
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| Power of Observation | Obtain the fully upgraded hidden ability "Power of Observation".
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| Pricking | Obtain the fully upgraded hidden ability "Pricking".
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| Punycide | Kill 100000 Newbies.
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| Quadruple Wielding | Obtain the fully upgraded hidden ability "Quadruple Wielding".
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| Quick Reaction | Kill 10 Madmen.
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| Random Nails | Get a level 3 copy of "Random Nails".
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| Rocket Launcher | Get a level 3 copy of "Rocket Launcher".
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| Sadist | Kill 300 Pain Lovers.
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| Salad | Kill 30000 Tomatoes.
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| Scytherang | Get a level 3 copy of "Scytherang".
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| Shotgun | Get a level 3 copy of "Shotgun".
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| Slime-ocalypse | Unlock all Slime starting setups.
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| Soul Eating | Obtain the fully upgraded hidden ability "Soul Eating".
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| Super Scytherang | Get a level 3 copy of "Super Scytherang".
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| Supreme Gun | Get a level 3 copy of "Supreme Gun".
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| Supreme Shotgun | Get a level 3 copy of "Supreme Shotgun".
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| Time Warp | Obtain the fully upgraded hidden ability "Time Warp".
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| Tiny Spring | Get a level 3 copy of "Tiny Spring".
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| Tournament Champion | Kill 2000 Martial Arts Masters.
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| Triangle of Darkness | Get a level 3 copy of "Triangle of Darkness".
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| Two Towers | Kill 2 Watchers.
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| Watermelon Launcher | Get a level 3 copy of "Watermelon Launcher".
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