| Achievement | How to unlock
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| A Megapint...? | Drink your very first grog.
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| AHHHHHH.....I'M ON FIRE!!! | Catch fire.
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| Another one bites the iron | Kill an enemy using metal bars.
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| Are you ready to rumble? | Get your very first lethal weapon.
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| Better safe than sorry - use protection | Get full protection when Level Up.
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| Bloody Knuckles | Kill a Grenadier with your bare hands.
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| Blurry depth perception | Kill your first Sven-Olof.
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| Butcher | Kill hundred enemies.
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| Catch me if you can | Get full agility when Level Up.
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| Catch the bus with me! | Blow up yourself and an enemy with a dynamite barrel.
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| Cockadoodledoo! | Find the marvelous Chickenator.
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| European karaoke king | Make the Bard play another song while you are drunk.
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| Fire-fighter! | Put out the fire.
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| Free Of Chains | Release all the chains.
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| Grumpy Immortal | "Defeat" The Immortal.
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| Haemochromatosis | Kill yourself with metal bars.
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| Honk honk! | Kill the clown in the sewers.
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| Hovering around | Find and buy the HoverCraft 2500.
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| I cant stand still! | Jump 500 times.
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| I drink, but I'm not a drunk! | Have three grogs in total.
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| I like you... but I have to kill you... | Kill your first Orc Warmaiden.
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| I want to throw up! | Dodge 500 times.
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| I'm feeling lucky! | Get full luck when Level Up.
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| I'm getting full... | Eat 500 Gnomes.
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| I'm going to get a concussion | Dodge hundred times.
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| I've got the power | Get full strength when Level Up.
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| Karaoke king | Make the Bard play another song.
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| MLG 360 no scope kill! | Kill your first Orc Noob.
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| Make Love not War-Craft a Mistlefoe | Pick up a Mistlefoe.
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| Master Butcher | Kill 500 enemies.
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| Meat grinder | Get eaten by a shark.
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| Meetballs, coming up! | Kill a Billy-Goat.
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| Mushroom soup of the day | Kill your first Fungoid Bob.
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| My name is Whoopass, SIR Whoopass! | Kill thousand enemies.
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| My pants squeak when I walk | Jump hundred times.
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| Nerd | Read a book from a bookshelf.
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| No... No... No... that was not meant for you... yet! | Unknown.
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| Not so hip anymore! | Kill your first Orc Hipster.
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| Okay... Maybe I'm a bit drunk... | Drink five large grogs at the same time.
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| Out of bounds | Visit a place you shouldn't actually visit.
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| Pasta Bolognese | Whoop Ass ten times!
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| Ripe Meat Off The Bone! | Eat your first grilled chicken.
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| Rolling, Rolling, Rolling | Dodge twenty times.
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| Scrambled Eggs | Collect at least hundred eggs.
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| Self assessed tax return | Kill your first IRS guy.
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| Slimy... yet satisfying | Kill your first Grumpy Worm.
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| Spare Ribs | Kill your first Skelton warrior.
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| Surprise!! | Buy a surpise from Melisande.
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| Tastes just like chicken! | Eat your first Garden Gnome.
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| Thats disgusting! | Use the stinky outhouse.
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| Timber! | Kill the Ent.
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| Up and down | Jump twenty times.
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| Yeehaw!!! | Live out your cowboy dreams and make a triple-shot.
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| You are no match for me, Billy! | Kill your first Billy Bob.
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| You can't stop me, bro! | Kill your first Shotgun Knight.
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| You're not going to blow me up! | Kill you first Grenadier.
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| You're not so Big anymore, Boi! | Kill Big Boi.
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| Your daily dose of Vitamin C | Eat hundred Gnomes.
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