| Achievement | How to unlock
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| 1.21 Gigawatts | Cause 121 damage with an energy weapon.
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| 16 Candles | Burn enemies 16 times in one battle.
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| A Crummy Commercial | Use the decoder ring.
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| A Friend Indeed | Hook Sarah up with Matt Conroy.
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| A Real Hero | Complete 6 different episodes.
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| Absolutely Nothing! | Scratch the cardboard box sticker.
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| Albert | Eat 1,000 food items.
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| All Valley Karate Champ | Crane kick Billy.
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| Ask Your Parents | Spend $1,000 on 900 numbers.
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| BADGES!? | Win a fight without scratching any stickers.
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| Better Off Dead | Die 100 times.
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| Bully The Bully | Force Blake to go on a date with Sarah.
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| Charged With Battery | Try all three charging methods.
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| Chester Copperpot | Get 100 exploration bonuses.
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| Commander | Defeat Wave 15 of Endless Battle.
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| Cool But Crude | Flood Ben's porta-potty.
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| Deflective | Deflect 50 projectiles.
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| Does Machines | Destroy 100 Sphere Bots.
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| Dreams Come True | Flush all the school pets down the toilet.
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| Electric Slide | Get a righteous rating on a weapon slider 10 times.
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| Everybody Hates Chris | Hook Sarah up with Chris Rock.
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| Feared By Evil | Complete 4 different episodes.
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| Feeling Randy | Hook Sarah up with Randy Greenback.
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| Fighting the Frizzies at Eleven | Win a battle against the Frizzies.
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| Goonies Never Die | Beat an entire episode without dying.
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| Gordon | Get rich! (Have over $100,000)
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| Hood Genocider | Defeat 1985 hood soldiers.
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| Hot Dog | Send taco flying after knocking Skeleboar off of him.
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| I Got Your Number | You called Jenny for a good time.
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| I'd Buy That For A Dollar | Buy 50 items from vending machines.
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| It's Sticky | Collect all 128 Scratch N' Sniff Stickers.
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| Jump Street | Reach level 21.
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| Jurk Murderer | Collect dinner for a friend.
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| Lackey | Defeat Wave 10 of Endless Battle.
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| Lead the Team | Stop the HOOD forces in Shadow Valley.
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| Loved By Good | Complete 2 different episodes.
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| Lundgren | Win 100 battles.
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| Macchio | Win 10 battles.
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| May's Report | Don't destroy the gruel in Episode 2.
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| Mess With The Bull... | Decide to fight Bertha for Bobby Jett.
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| Minion | Defeat Wave 5 of Endless Battle.
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| Mirror, Mirror | Defeat Evil Marty.
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| No Guts No Glory | Help a student flush his toots.
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| Norris | Win 5000 battles.
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| Nothing's Gonna Stand In Our Way | Win an impossible battle.
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| Number Five Is Alive | Reach level 5.
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| Outatime | Scratch all five stickers before battle.
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| Party Dude | Drain Ben's porta-potty.
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| Perfect Stranger | Get a triple S ranking in battle.
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| Punch-Out | Defeat an enemy with a critical punch.
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| RcRoll'd | Find and open 100 RcMeal boxes.
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| Righteous Dude | Score 200 righteous defenses.
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| Rise From Your Grave | Retry a fight and win.
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| Stallone | Win 1000 battles.
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| Stanley's Vendetta | Destroy the gruel in Episode 2.
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| Sunglasses At Night | Wear your sunglasses at night.
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| Supplies! | Get every one of the cereal box's surprises.
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| Team Effort | Hook Sarah up with the Basketball Team.
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| The Fonz | Get a battle rank of A or higher five different times.
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| The Only Way To Win | Defeat Super Computah.
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| These Go To Eleven | Reach level 11.
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| Thunderdome | Win an arena battle.
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| Ticket Purchaser | Buy Henry's ticket for Ash.
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| Ticket Thief | Hire Charles Cheezer to "talk" to Henry.
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| Total Protonic Reversal | Max out your multiplier.
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| Twin Pines | Play an episode twice.
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| Tyson | Defeat 10 enemies with a punch.
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| Van Damme | Win 500 battles.
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| Why'd It Have To Be Snakes? | Kill 500 Lizard Men.
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| Wild Stallions | Use equine based attacks 30 times.
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| Wonderful Toys | Pick up or buy 500 objects.
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| Working Overtime Fighting Crime | Complete 5 different episodes.
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| You'll Get The Horns | Walk away from the Bertha fight.
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| You'll Shoot Your Eye Out | Shoot your eye out with the BB Gun.
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| You're The Best! | Reach level 50.
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