| Achievement | How to unlock
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| Absolute Leg-End | Obtain a Legendary Agent.
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| Are you feeling lucky? | Kill 500 hostiles with the Magnum.
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| Bathory | Spill 1,000,000 units of blood.
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| Beaten, broken, scarred but still breathing | Use over 100 first aid kits in total.
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| Boom goes the dynamite | Kill 500 hostiles with the Boom Stick.
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| Claret | Spill 500,000 units of blood.
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| Crank it up a notch! | Upgrade a weapon to Mark 2.
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| Death Defy | Fully upgrade an agent's Death State stat.
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| Death Rainbow of Light | Kill 500 hostiles with the Laser Canon.
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| Fire in the disco! Fire at the gates of hell! | Fully upgrade an agent's Flame Weapons stat.
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| Fit as a fiddle | Fully upgrade an agent's Health stat.
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| Fixer-Upper | Fully upgrade the ship's medical bay.
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| Gone but not forgotten | Lose one agent in total.
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| Good lord you could take someone's eye out with that thing... | Upgrade a weapon to Mark 5.
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| Hotter than Hell | Kill 500 hostiles with the Volcano Flamethrower.
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| I can handle this... | Increase an agent's rank from Novice to Adept.
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| I can shoot a mosquito in the dark with my eyes closed | Fully upgrade an agent's Accuracy stat.
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| Its Alive! | Abstract an agents DNA.
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| Littering | Fire Over 10000 Rounds.
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| Mad Scientist | Abstract 20 agents DNA.
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| Master the elements | Unlock a stats effect on a Weapon.
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| Murder. Death. Kill. | Kill 5000 hostiles in total.
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| No Pain No Gain | Fully upgrade all of an agent's stats.
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| Oh man, it's all over my face... | Fully upgrade an agent's Plasma Weapons stat.
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| Ol' Painless | Kill 500 hostiles with the Minigun.
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| Pack Mule | Fully upgrade an agent's Weight Capacity stat.
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| Pineapple Fruitsalad | Use 500 grenades in total.
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| Pistol Inferno | Fully upgrade an agent's Pistol stat.
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| Pump, pump, pump it up! | Fully upgrade an agent's Shotgun stat.
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| Ride the Lightning | Kill 500 hostiles with the Stormgun.
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| Room for one more? | Fully upgrade the ship's sleeping quarters.
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| Saws of War | Kill 500 hostiles with the Chainsaw Knife.
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| Seriously, who put you in charge? | Lose 20 agents in total.
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| Stone Cold Stunner | Fully upgrade the ship's pulse shot.
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| Super Armour | Add 3 augments to a piece of heavy armour.
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| Super Soldier | Equip a fully upgraded veteran agent with maxed out armour and weapons.
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| The pointy end! I said to use the pointy end! | Fully upgrade an agent's Melee stat.
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| The things I've seen... | Increase an agent's rank from Adept to Veteran.
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| To be continued? | Complete all contracts.
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| Tough outer shell, delicious centre | Fully upgrade an agent's Armour stat.
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| Trap Runner | Use 500 traps in total.
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| Treasure Trove | Fully upgrade the ship's cargo hold.
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| Uzi-me-now? | Fully upgrade an agent's Automatics stat.
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| Vessel of my Vassal | Complete all ship upgrades.
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| ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzzzzAAAAAppp!!!! | Fully upgrade an agent's Electric Weapon's stat.
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