| Achievement | How to unlock
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| ANTIVAXXER | Kill the big bad RONA without using the vaccine.
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| B**ch Lore | Find all codex entries in the These Sunny Daze DLC.
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| CRACKHEAD | Use a health pipe.
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| Calm down baby | Piss on angry Moto Mom.
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| DOUBLE THE EXCITEMENT | Kill five hostiles with akimbo powerup active.
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| DREAM WITHIN A DREAM, WITHIN A DREAM | Find all location codex entries.
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| Fully Erected | Find all secrets on the E*ection Day.
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| GOD SAVE THE DUDE | Use portable armor.
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| GYMCEL | Kill five hostiles with steroids powerup active.
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| HERPES GENITALIS | Burn at least five hostiles with piss.
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| I AM CONFUS | Confuse at least five hostiles with piss.
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| I AM THE MANAGER | Kill Karen.
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| I WANT TO BELIVE | Find the third installment.
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| IT'S BIGGER WHEN IT'S WARM | Freeze at least five hostiles with piss.
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| IT'S NOT WEDNESDAY MY DUDES | Find a certain secret not on wednesday.
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| IT'S WEDNESDAY MY DUDES | Find a certain secret on wednesday, my dude.
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| JFK | Kill Ronald Dixon with a sniper rifle.
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| Love for Sail | Find all secrets on the Ship Happens map.
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| MUSIC SOOTHES THE SAVAGE BEAST | Kill a certain group of hostiles in the neighbourhood.
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| NO, U | Reflect ten projectiles.
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| PISSIMIST | Piss on Tesloborgelion boy parts.
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| PREMATURE EVACUATOR | Finish any level below the speedrun threshold.
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| PSPSPSPSPS | Pet a cat.
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| PTSD | Finish the These Sunny Daze DLC.
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| RELOADING! | Use an ammo box.
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| SECOND AMENDMENT | Find all weapon codex entries.
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| Sunburn Commando | Obtain all These Sunny Daze DLC weapons.
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| TAKE THE BLUE PILL | Kill five hostiles with quick pillz powerup active.
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| THE CURE | Kill the big bad RONA.
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| THIRD IMPACT | Kill Tesloborgelion.
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| TINDER | Find all enemy codex entries.
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| TRYHARD | Get 100% on any of the levels.
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| WELCOME TO THE COLONY | Kill a certain group of hostiles in the forest.
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| What a Beach to find | Find all secrets on the Sun of the Beach map.
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