| Achievement | How to unlock
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| Accuracy Through Volume | Deal 1,000,000 damage across all single player games.
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| Alacritous | Win twenty Quick Matches.
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| All Systems Online | Successfully log in to Obliteracy.com.
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| Anafortya | Perform the 'Anaphora' achievement forty times.
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| Anafoura | Perform the 'Anaphora' achievement four times.
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| Anaphora | Use the same word twice in a single player match.
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| By A Nanothread | Win a single player match with only one health point left.
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| Counterintuitiveness | Use a 20-character word in a single player match.
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| Curtain Call | Defeat the Codexicron twice.
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| Dirksen's Attention | Deal 1,000,000,000 damage across all single player games.
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| Expatiation | Use an 11-character word in a single player match.
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| Expeditious | Win five Quick Matches.
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| Garrulousness | Use a 13-character word in a single player match.
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| Getting The Knack | Win ten single player matches.
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| Grandiloquence | Use a 14-character word in a single player match.
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| Hail, Hail | Earn a 150% Quick Match Challenge Level.
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| Hot Shot | Deal over 25,000 damage in one shot in a single player match.
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| How Do I Fly This Thing | Earn a 200% Quick Match Challenge Level.
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| Hyperintelligence | Use a 17-character word in a single player match.
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| If At First | Lose one single player match.
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| Illustriousness | Use a 15-character word in a single player match.
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| Indefatigability | Use a 16-character word in a single player match.
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| Instantaneous | Win fifty Quick Matches.
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| Just Add Water | Deal 5,000,000 damage across all single player games.
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| Loquaciously | Use a 12-character word in a single player match.
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| Making It Personal | Win one multiplayer match.
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| Middle Path | Use the same word 8x in a single player match.
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| NaCl + C6H8O7 | Deal over 50,000 damage in one shot in a single player match.
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| Nice Shot | Deal over 10,000 damage in one shot in a single player match.
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| Not A Scratch | Win a single player match with full health.
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| Overintellectually | Use an 18-character word in a single player match.
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| Pedantic | Win fifteen multiplayer matches.
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| Peer Review | Win five multiplayer matches.
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| Perpetual Motion | Spell 'PROSODY' in a single player match.
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| Professionalization | Use a 19-character word in a single player match.
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| Sharp Shot | Deal exactly 1,000 damage in one shot in a single player match.
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| Surgical Strike | Deal exactly 10,000 damage in one shot in a single player match.
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| Tetradical | Use the same word 4x in a single player match.
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| Veteran | Win twenty-five single player matches.
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| Wordsworth | Defeat the Codexicron once.
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