| Achievement | How to unlock
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| 100% | Unlock all upgrades, view all endings, find all the vinyls, and collect all the crowns in the game.
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| Bedside Manner | Had a long conversation with your upgrade station S.T.A.B.I.L.E
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| Buster Run | Beat the game without buying a single upgrade.
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| Butterfingers | As a result of being defeated, dropped a princess.
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| Buzz Off! | Beat Dash in Insektia without taking any damage.
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| Chatty Cathys | See all the dialogue scenes in Heartless Abyss.
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| Chomped! | Found the hidden monster at the villain museum.
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| Combustalicious | Defeat 50 enemies with grenades.
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| Dark Hearted | (Secret)
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| Dark Pact | Honored the terms of your dark pact with Kaptain Man.
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| Do Not Pass Go | Witness Dr.Cackle being arrested. (Secret)
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| Drop The Axe | Drop the kingdom's assembled defenders into the lava pool at Crow's Fortress in Bramble Flats. (Secret)
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| Existential Terror | Witness the might and fury of Monster-Farrah. (Secret)
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| Farrahs For Days | Find all three mutant Farrah Days (Secret)
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| Feeling Motivated! | Listened to the heroes entire motivational speech at Bramble flats.
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| Feeling Punchy | Defeat 20 enemies with punches.
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| Good Advice | Tell Mayapple not to drop Dr. Cackle in his Lab. (Secret)
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| Grenadier | Defeat 20 enemies with grenades.
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| Harbinger Of Doom | Unlock Farrah's Folly.
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| Implicated | Read all 16 terminals in Adept Co. and discover who funded the sinister organization.
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| Jerk With a Heart of Gold | (Secret)
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| King Crow | Find all the crowns in the game.
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| Leap Of Faith | Get the first crown in Sukochi.
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| Lineage of Tyranny | Read all of the portrait descriptions of Crow's Lineage in his wing at the Villain Museum.
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| New Exhibit | Defeat the Treble Rangers at the Villain Museum.
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| Office Romance | Have the audience choose Crow to date Becky in 'Would You Date A Supervillain?' (Secret)
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| Oh, The Huge Manatee! | Defeat 100 enemies with grenades.
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| Punchmageddon | Defeat 100 enemies with punches.
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| Punchsplosion! | Defeat 50 enemies with punches.
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| Scrooge | Counting any amount spent, gather a grand total of 10,000 lucre.
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| Speed Run | Complete Rattletrack Rails without dying.
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| Stick and Move | Defeat Guryon in Winterdown without getting hit once.
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| Stop Hitting Yourself! Stop Hitting Yourself! | Hit the swat van with one of it's own bazooka blasts.
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| Talk to the Hand | Defeat Mack at Adept Co. without getting hit once.
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| Technological Superiority | Beat Dash, Guryon and the 8-bit heroes without dying or taking damage at the Bramble Flats.
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| The Dating Game | You have appeared on the dating game 'Would You Date a Super Villain?' (Secret)
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| The Purple Pauper | Beat the game having collected less than 1,000 lucre.
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| The True Mastermind | Achieve S-Ranks on all stages.
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| Traitors! | Defeat Mechano using only his own missiles.
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| True Friends | Get the good ending.
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| Up close and personal | Beat any stage by only punching, without firing a single long ranged weapon.
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| Virtuoso | Unlock all the music for the Jukebox.
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| War Machine | Buy every upgrade in the upgrade shop.
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| What You Always Wanted | Get the bad ending.
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