| Achievement | How to unlock
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| Archmage | Kill 10,000 enemies.
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| Between a Rock and a Hard Place | Beat the Main Campaign on Hard difficulty.
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| Bring Your Orcs to Work Day | Win the Khan fight in the Main Campaign after activating the orc warriors.
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| Burying the Past | Kill all Veterans of the Wizard Wars in the Main Campaign.
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| Did I Do That? | Kill your friends 100 times.
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| Doctor | Heal over 500,000 hit points.
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| Don't Touch My Food! | Finish the Kebab Cart encounter without the cart taking any damage in the Main Campaign.
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| Even Dead Gods Can Die | Activate and survive all Dark Altars in the Main Campaign.
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| Focus Saver | Finish Chapter 5 of the Main Campaign without using Magicks.
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| Focus Spender | Finish Chapter 3 of the Main Campaign without using Spells.
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| Game Development is Hard | Find all six development jokes in the Main Campaign.
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| Heart Hoarder | Put out all the torches in Vanirhall in the Main Campaign, without restarting from a Checkpoint. No Cheating!
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| Horse Whisperer | Find and interact with all the special horses in the Main Campaign. Some interactions are harsher than others.
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| Humble Beginnings | Inflict over 1,000,000 total damage.
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| I Meant To Do That | Kill yourself 100 times.
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| Into the Caves of Insanity | Find and read all journal fragments in the Main Campaign.
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| It's "Football" not "Soccer" | Defeat the final boss in the Main Campaign without using Water Sprays, or the Magicks Push and Concussion.
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| Just Another Wizard Day | Die 100 times.
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| Miracle Worker | Heal over 2,000,000 hit points.
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| No Collateral Damage | Defeat Elin without killing her Vanir backup in the Main Campaign.
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| Nurse | Heal over 100,000 hit points.
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| Oh, My Bad | Kill your friends 1000 times.
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| Pet Sematary | Defile the remains of your beloved pet, Behold, in the Main Campaign.
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| Professor's Diploma | Beat the five base Challenges on Hard difficulty.
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| Respect Your Elders | Find and talk to all Veterans of the Wizard Wars in the Main Campaign.
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| RESS PLZ! | Revive your friends 1000 times.
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| Ress plz... | Revive your friends 100 times.
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| Sage's Diploma | Beat the five base Challenges on Bananas difficulty.
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| Serious Damage! | Inflict over 5,000,000 total damage.
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| Shank Master | Finish the prison arena encounter in the Main Campaign using only melee attacks.
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| Shroom We Will Be Together | Unite the mushroom-obsessed farmer with the Humongous Fungus in the Main Campaign.
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| STRIKE! Oh, Wrong Game... | Interrupt the Kubb game in the Main Campaign.
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| Summer is Fleeting | Listen to everything that John Frost has to say throughout the Main Campaign.
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| Terrible Terrible Damage! | Inflict over 20,000,000 total damage.
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| That Escalated Quickly | Activate and survive a Dark Altar in the Main Campaign.
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| The Circles of Life | Listen to all of Sir Antburrow's nature trivia in the Main Campaign.
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| The King's Speech | Listen to the King's entire speech in the Main Campaign.
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| The Safe Word is "Bananas"! | Beat the Main Campaign on Bananas difficulty.
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| Trial and Error | Die 1000 times.
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| Trial by Fire | Beat all the Trials in the Main Campaign on Normal difficulty.
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| Trial by Fire+Lightning | Beat all the Trials in the Main Campaign on Hard difficulty.
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| Trial by Fire+Lightning+Death | Beat all the Trials in the Main Campaign on Bananas difficulty.
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| Trying to Get "Trial and Error"? | Kill yourself 1000 times.
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| Warlock | Kill 1000 enemies.
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| We Have Normality | Beat the Main Campaign on Normal difficulty.
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| Wizard's Diploma | Beat the five base Challenges on Normal difficulty.
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