| Achievement | How to unlock
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|---|
| All Choked Up | Asphyxiate a spider.
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| All Is Vanity | Collect every Cosmetic.
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| Back in Business | Board the HSF Vindicator.
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| Bailout | Make bail for both jailed Cactar during the same Deputy Challenge attempt.
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| Big Spender | Create every Blueprint.
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| Black and White and Red All Over | Read every issue of the Arachnitopia Times.
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| Blow-Updo | Kill a spider with the Hairspray's alt-fire.
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| Born To Kiln | Simultaneously fire nine pots with the kiln.
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| Card Shark | Swindle the Swindler Cactar.
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| Chaos Theory | Defeat an Abomination with the Butterfly Effect.
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| Clairaudient | Lay the ghosts of Artois Manor to rest.
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| Compound X Gon' Give It To Ya | Collect every Compound X.
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| DADDY_ERRORS | Help Darwin reset his parent process.
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| Data Miner | Collect every disk for the Decompiler.
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| Drone Zone | Complete every Drone Course.
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| Earth Alpha One | Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.
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| Evil, Dead Spiders | Create an army of undead spiders.
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| Exceptional Expectorator | Fill every spittoon in Rancho Saguaro.
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| Explosive Decompression | Damage a window on the HSF Vindicator.
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| Exposure Therapy | Have five jumping spiders crawling on you at the same time.
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| Forbidden Fruit | Sell a pear.
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| Galaxy Brain | Solve the hard version of Darwin's puzzle.
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| Keys To The Kingdom | Unlock every door in the teleportation bus.
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| Monumental Destruction | Destroy City Hall using Laser Breath.
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| Over-Reaction | Collect every fuel cell.
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| Packed Vacuum | Collect 24 spiders in your vacuum.
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| Power Supplier | Fully upgrade all subroutines.
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| Practice Makes Perfect | Defeat the sticky note spiders.
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| Preferably Dead | Bring every Wanted Spider to justice.
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| Prop Hunt | Kill every Morph Spider.
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| Reasonable Force | Defeat a spider using the Hover Tank in the HSF Vindicator's hangar.
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| Rematch | Defeat the Spider Gang Boss while the Cactus Kid is deployed.
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| S-Tier | Complete cardio.exe with an orange ticket on Subroutine Level 3.
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| Shine On | Blow up the Tricycle with C4.
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| Side Hustle | Clean all dirty objects.
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| Speedrun | Complete the warehouse challenge in under five seconds.
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| Story Time | Collect every Tape.
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| Targeted Advertising | Close all twelve pop-ups within two minutes.
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| Terms and Conditions | Read all of Darwin's contract.
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| The Anvil Strikes Back | Use an Anvil to kill a member of the Spider Gang.
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| Tinker, Tailor, Exterminator | Collect every Upgrade Module.
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| Toil and Trouble | Brew every Potion.
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| Where Is The Tarantula? | Listen to the ballad of Spike.
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| Zero Bug Policy | Kill the final tier of Glitch Spider.
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