| Achievement | How to unlock
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| ...OR IS IT? | Finish the game.
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| "Pixie dust" | Find the bag of something.
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| A family reunion | Reunite the sisters.
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| A horror cliche | Why would there be keys in a locked car?
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| A light twice as bright | Find the flashlight.
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| A Mighty Flame Followeth | Build the flamethrower.
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| Adult pacifier | Sometimes you just need something to get through the day.
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| Alcoholic | Drink all the beer and whiskey you can.
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| An apple a day | Find an apple.
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| Collateral damage | Kill an enemy with the explosion of a Blow-up.
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| Come play with me | Find the keys to the big house.
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| Don't kick the dog | Spare his life.
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| Dress to kill | Get your first armor.
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| Even a-holes need love | Save your boss.
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| Far out fungus | You've discovered the mysterious fungus.
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| Feel the noise! | Start the generator.
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| If a tree is shot, will it make a sound? | Kill the huge tree monster.
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| Insert Dirty Harry quote | Find that certain gun.
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| It's not Dark Souls, but... | You died.
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| It's set in Finland, can you tell? | Visit the sauna.
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| Junkyard bros | You've saved the two guys at the junkyard.
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| Knee-Deep in... | Kill 100 enemies.
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| Look at you, Hacker | Tamper with the plant computer.
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| Lovecraft lover | Complete the bartender's quest.
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| Shitter's clogged | Keep on clicking the outhouse.
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| Tentacle surprise! | Maybe that was not wise.
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