| Achievement | How to unlock
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|---|
| A Kissenger For All Seasons | Get kissed by an unhygienic individual on two separate occasions.
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| Above And Beyond The Spider of Duty | Collect all 8 spiders in the restaurant.
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| Around The World In 80 Puns | Visit all travel destinations in the world.
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| Bloody Mary On The Rocks | Serve a bloody mary.
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| Breaking The Mold | Consume vast quantities of jelly to fulfill ethical responsibilities.
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| But She Can Fly... | Win a round of pillow fight.
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| Clean As A Whistle | Find and utilize a bidet.
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| Conversationalist | Talk to 3 inanimate cardboard boxes.
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| Data mole | Smuggle a carrier pigeon into the next level.
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| DJ Compact Disc Jockey | Scratch 2 compact discs in the bachelor pad.
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| Don't Get Involved | Kiss 3 people while wearing lipstick.
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| Essence of Pigeon | Spray 3 people with pheromones.
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| Exume To Consume | Discovered all of the artifacts buried in sand.
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| Face Infectors | Defeat a microscopic squadron of bacteriophage.
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| Hasselhoff In A Pinch | Rescue the drowning man in the swimming pool.
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| Heroine Chic | Apply lipstick VERY generously to your face.
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| Insurance Premiums Increase | Shatter all vases in the shop.
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| Jacques Voyeur: Room Explorer | Explore other guest rooms at the resort.
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| Long Distance Charges | Dial all phone menu options.
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| Polyplegic | Land awkwardly while diving at the pool.
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| Saliva Surrogate | Assist a saliva deficient individual by fulfilling their stationary needs.
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| Serious Degaussing Skills | Degauss 4 undercover agents in the park.
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| Spongiform Encephalopathy | Consume one brain steeped sandwich.
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| Verbal Morality Statute | Dial various four letter words into the Nippon Telnet phone terminal.
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