| Achievement | How to unlock
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|---|
| A Real Achievement! | Obtained a real achievement! Hurray!
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| Are you blind mate? | Trip into all three breakable objects in the starting area.
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| Boared | Got killed by a boar...
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| Can you make this part easier? | Wait long enough for the patrolling guards to stop patrolling in level 4.
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| Cooking Class | Get educated in level 7.
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| Earth, Wind & Fire | Die in a to a collapse, by gravity or die in a fire in level 5... or maybe take a little shock.
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| Hopeless | Die of a panic attack.
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| Let me back in | Tried to get back into the starting area in level 6.
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| My Little Pony | Got too intimate with an equine in level 13.
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| Natural English Habitat | Met the chav in level 12.
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| Premature Attackulator | Get caught by a secretary in level 3.
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| Pukeurai | Met a Japanese Warrior in level 9.
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| The boy next door | Met the local in level 7.
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| You mad, bro? | Poke the sleeping guard in level 2.
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