| Achievement | How to unlock
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| Energy Drink | This is his lifeline. (Get "life pod.")
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| First Move | Even if he can’t walk. (Roll to move.)
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| Great Escape? | The conclusion of the great escape? (Clear the final stage.)
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| Has he warmed up enough? | Don’t forget to stretch. (Get real, he’s got no bones.) (Stretch his arms and legs a total of 100 times.)
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| Introduction to Bone Collecting | He picked up scattered bones. (Acquire all the bones in 5 stages.)
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| My Name Is John. | He remembered his name. (Acquire all the bones in all the stages.)
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| Never Give Up | He’ll rise again as often as it takes. (Retry 50 times.)
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| Nice Shot | He can play ball, too. (Put a ball through the goal.)
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| Oops | Why is the self-destruct switch... (Use self-destruct.)
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| Own Goal | Score one for the enemy! (Go through the goal while holding the ball.)
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| Second Death | Can zombies even die? (Die by a method other than self-destruct.)
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| The First Gate | The first step in a great escape story! (Clear Stage 1.)
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| Trolley Buddy | Head through the goal together. (Clear a stage while holding onto a trolley.)
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| What He Doesn’t Have | Did he have them to begin with? (Get "bone.")
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