| Achievement | How to unlock
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| Burn the Sheets (25 points) | Get killed by a crab, die any other way, then get killed by a crab again.
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| Cant Get it Up (10 points) | Launch the hot dog with minimum power.
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| Can’t Feel the Sides (50 points) | Fly through the air for 200 feet.
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| Don’t Do Anything Rash (10 points) | Use the glove to protect yourself from the crab.
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| Double Bag it (10 points) | Hit a floating glove while already wearing another glove.
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| First Base (10 points) | Die after a single bounce.
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| Flying at Half Mast(50 points) | Fly over 500 feet in a single launch.
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| Get Blown (5 points) | Use a fan to get extra air.
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| Go For a Spin (5 points) | Ride a chandelier to gain speed.
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| Going the Distance (100 points) | Fly over 1000 feet in a single launch.
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| Jackhammer (50 points) | Bounce a grand total of 250 times.
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| Just Grab it (10 points) | Ride a chandelier with gloves on.
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| Lice, Lice, Baby (25 points) | Get killed by a crab in three consecutive bounces.
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| Like a Rabbit (100 points) | Bounce a grand total of 1000 times.
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| Mile High Club (150 points) | Accumulate over 50,000 feet in launch distance.
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| Money Shot (10 points) | Launch the hot dog with max power.
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| Quick Draw McGraw (10 points) | Die before your first bounce.
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| Refractory Period (25 points) | Wait 60 seconds before launches.
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| Scratching Won’t Help (5 points) | Get killed by a crab.
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| Second Base (10 points) | Die After two bounces.
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| Sit and Spin (50 points) | Spin your hot dog 360 degrees, uninterrupted.
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| Third Base (10 points) | Die after bouncing three times.
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| Watch the Teeth (5 points) | Get chopped up by a fan.
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| Well Hung (15 points) | Ride 5 chandeliers in one launch.
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