| Achievement | How to unlock | Points
|
|---|
| 1 Shot Deputy | Complete the game without dying. | 200
|
| Associate Intern | Complete Episode 1. | 30
|
| Dance Like you Want to Win | Defeat a Boss without getting hit. | 75
|
| Dedication to a Fault | Use a single weapon for one entire stage. | 75
|
| InGest's Finest | Achieve the True Ending. | 50
|
| Intern | Complete Episode 3. | 30
|
| Jr. Intern | Complete the Tutorial. | 15
|
| Light Snack | Find a Mini Meat. | 15
|
| Necessity, Mother of Impressive | Defeat a Boss with the Lv1 Pea Shooter. | 20
|
| Officer | Complete a stage without getting hit. | 100
|
| Paid Intern | Complete Episode 5. | 30
|
| Part Timer | Complete the Game. | 75
|
| Powering Up | Stack a Weapon. | 25
|
| Rockstar | Complete Arcade Mode. | 75
|
| Sr. Associate Intern | Complete Episode 2. | 30
|
| Sr. Intern | Complete Episode 4. | 30
|
| Stage Presence | Complete a stage without standing still. | 50
|
| Star Cadet | Complete a Stage without dying. | 75
|