| Achievement | How to unlock
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| Bestest Infiltrator (20 points) | Win an Infiltration map.
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| Big Dipper (40 points) | Earn 21 stars in Challenge mode.
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| Bipolar (10 points) | You've switched between Brian and Stewie 10 times.
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| Bird is the Word (10 points) | Taunt 5 times in a row with Peter.
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| Boom Headshot (15 points) | You've killed 75 enemies with headshots.
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| Bunch of Chumps (15 points) | Survive 15 waves in Multiverse Madness.
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| Cartoon Apocalypse (30 points) | Survive 30 waves in Multiverse Madness.
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| Chicken Fight! (20 points) | You completed the "Chicken Fight!" level.
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| Chickens In Space (20 points) | You completed the "Chickens In Space" level.
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| Day Labor (15 points) | Destroy all of the piņatas in the "It's All Greek to Me" level.
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| Employee of the Month (20 points) | Kill Vernon.
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| First Kill (10 points) | You completed your first kill of a member of the opposing team in Multiplayer.
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| Grease Can't Save You Now (20 points) | Win a Capture the "Greased-Up Deaf Guy" match.
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| Handicapable (20 points) | You completed the "Handicapable" level.
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| Head Shot (5 points) | You got your first head shot.
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| Help From My Friends (15 points) | You used the collectible special inventory items 25 times in Story Mode.
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| How Do I Jump? (5 points) | You killed yourself with a grenade or satchel charge.
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| IEDead (15 points) | You've killed 60 enemies with grenades/explosives.
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| It's All Greek To Me (20 points) | You completed the "It's All Greek To Me" level.
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| Justified (40 points) | Kill 500 enemies using Brian.
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| Kings of Quahog (20 points) | You have won a Deathmatch mode (free-for-all or as a team).
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| Little Dipper (15 points) | Earn 10 stars in Challenge mode.
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| Lockdown (20 points) | You've shut out the other team from scoring in Capture the Greased-Up Deaf Guy.
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| Long John Peter (20 points) | You completed the "Long John Peter" level.
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| Mort Will Now Lend You Credit (30 points) | Buy everything available in the Store.
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| Mr. Unpopular (5 points) | You selected Meg as a character for a Multiplayer Match.
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| Multi-Kill (15 points) | You successfully performed a multi-kill with a melee weapon.
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| Multi-kill with a grenade (15 points) | You successfully performed a multi-kill with a grenade.
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| No Cheese, Please (20 points) | You completed the "No Cheese, Please" level.
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| No Place Like Home (50 points) | You completed the "No Place Like Home" level.
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| Obsessed (50 points) | You've completed all secondary objectives.
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| One Shot Kills (5 points) | You've killed an enemy with one shot.
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| Penny Pincher (40 points) | You've successfully collected $50,000.
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| Pervert (10 points) | Hang around the room with Quagmire in a baby costume for 30 seconds.
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| Pussy Whipped (20 points) | You completed the "Pussy Whipped" level.
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| Roadhouse (15 points) | You've meleed 3 members of the opposing team in Multiplayer.
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| Santa's Sweatshop (20 points) | You completed the "Santa's Sweatshop" level.
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| Scorched Earth (10 points) | You burned the Amish pot fields.
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| Shut Up Meg (5 points) | You killed Meg during a Multiplayer Match.
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| Something's Amish (20 points) | You completed the "Something's Amish" level.
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| Stewie-nator (40 points) | Kill 500 enemies using Stewie.
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| Teabag a D-Bag (5 points) | Taunt a dead opponent with Quagmire in Multiplayer.
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| Teabaggin' (15 points) | You've successfully completed a taunt 25 times.
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| The Cleaner (30 points) | You got a 10 kill streak in Deathmatch.
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| There is no Cake (100 points) | Unlock all other Achievements.
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| Ugly Tastes Terrible (5 points) | Play poorly during the final showdown.
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| We Be Clubbing (15 points) | You defeated 10 enemies with a melee weapon.
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| Wrecking Ball (20 points) | Smash your opponent into something 20 times in the "Chicken Fight!" level.
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