| Achievement | How to unlock
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|---|
| Brad's Savior and Best Friend ( 15 points ) | Complete three sections of the third genre.
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| Collection of a True Fan ( 25 points ) | Spend your hard-earned money and buy all the unlockables from Dr. Winklemeyer.
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| Eugene's Protégé ( 20 points ) | Play every reaction sequence mistake-free.
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| He Ain't Even Married ( 20 points ) | Survive a specific section without getting hit.
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| Hero of the Silver Age ( 15 points ) | Complete three sections of the second genre.
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| I Took Performance Enhancers ( 25 points ) | Max out all of Captain Smiley's abilities.
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| Job Well Done, Faithful Reader ( 25 points ) | Complete the game.
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| Neural Net Processors ( 10 points ) | Destroy 25 of Brad's BradBots.
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| Pressed X a lot ( 10 points ) | Earn some cash by talking to people in the base.
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| Shut Star Up ( 10 points ) | Let your feelings guide you.
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| Two Stood Against Many ( 15 points ) | Complete three sections of the first comic genre.
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| Violence Solves Everything ( 10 points ) | Fire 125,000 total shots.
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