| Trophy | How to unlock
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Additionally there are three secret trophies.
| All the Things (Platinum) | You have proven that anything can be achieved through the sacrifice of minions.
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| Appeasement (Gold) | Jeff is satisfied.
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| Ardent Archaeologist (Gold) | Master the Ruins
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| Beat the Devs (Gold) | No skips. No restarts. One run. How fast can you go?
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| Dungeon Delver (Gold) | Master the Castle
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| Enter Orbit (Bronze) | SPAAAAAAACE!
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| Inefficient Use of Human Resources (Bronze) | Our equipment design does not account for your inefficiency
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| Law of Knight Conservation (Silver) | Prove that you are the master of Tenuous Links.
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| Master Mountaineer (Gold) | Master the Mountain
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| Master of Magnetism (Silver) | Check point two, check point one to prove your skill on Equal and Opposite.
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| Meet Jeff (Bronze) | What does the fuzzy thing do?
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| Merciful Leader (Gold) | Mercy is its own reward, so have a prize!
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| Milecide (Silver) | One thousand knights squandered.
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| No Vacancy (Silver) | How many knights can you lose on Straight to the Point?
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| Precision Air Drop (Bronze) | One body does not count as a Carpet.
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| Rapid Sacrifice (Gold) | Beating all the clocks.
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| Room For One More (Silver) | How did you do that?
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| Soul Crushing (Bronze) | Maximum misfortune in Maximum Security.
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| Superb Spelunker (Gold) | Master the Mines
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| There's Really Nothing Over Here (Bronze) | Nothing to see, move along.
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