| Achievement | How to unlock
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| ...I am Pagliacci! | Get a Rorschach test with the visitor's answers.
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| A Little Treat! | Buy a pastry.
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| Are They Really Edible? | Witness the arrival of the Mushroom Satan.
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| As Long As They Enjoy It... | Solve the zombie problem with flesh-eating locusts.
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| Augmented Humanity | Witness the spread of Gray Slime.
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| Blue Duct Tape | Resolve the budget-cyberpunk-anarchy crisis with Machina Fatorum.
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| Bring me antidepressants, Santa! | Buy antidepressants 50 times.
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| Bug Power! | Fight off alien invaders with mutant insects.
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| Click-Clack! | Punch 25 passes.
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| Connection Lost | Resolve the hacker-dictatorship crisis with Machina Fatorum.
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| Cyberjurassic Park | Witness the rise of cyberanimals.
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| Did You Leave Your Head At Home?! | Witness how ninjas do things.
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| Digital Magic | Handle the overgrown Tardifuma with technomagic.
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| Don't Blink! | Encounter a weeping angel.
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| Drastic Measures | Witness the destruction of the city by a nuclear explosion.
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| Excellent Guard | Not a single mistake all day.
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| Fire With Fire! | Solve the problem of the unknown infection with Tardifuma.
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| Flesh Is Stronger Than Steel! | Resolve the cyberman-rebellion crisis with Machina Fatorum.
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| Full Belly, Happy Heart | Buy 3 sandwiches in one evening.
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| Fungal Salvation! | Handle the overgrown Tardifuma with fungal spores.
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| Hard Day | End the workday with 1 point of sanity.
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| Here's Your Pass! | Punch 100 passes.
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| I Saw Some ... | Face 25 emergency situations in the isolation ward.
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| I Swear There Was an Invisible Man! | Conduct an experiment in the empty isolation ward.
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| I Told The Mushrooms I Wouldn't Eat Them! | Resolve the Mushroom Satan crisis with Machina Fatorum.
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| I Was Just Following Orders | Call security 100 times.
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| If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It! | Solve the problem of the unknown infection with alien technologies.
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| Is It a Bird? Is It a Plane? | Encounter a superhero.
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| Is That Megazord?! | Witness the technomancer rebellion.
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| It's Just Not Your Day | Not a single right decision all day.
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| Jiminy Cricket! | Resolve the mutant-insects-aggression crisis with Machina Fatorum.
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| Kuato Lives! | Encounter a man who recalled everything.
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| Major Arcana | Take photos of all tarot anomalies.
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| Maître D' | Send 100 people to the isolation ward.
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| Nasty, But Effective! | Fight off alien invaders with Gray Slime.
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| New Workplace | Move to 2nd floor.
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| Next! | Punch 300 passes.
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| No Overtime! | Run out of time.
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| No magic outside of Hogwarts! | Resolve the hacker-rebellion crisis with Machina Fatorum.
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| Not-So-Healthy Diet | Handle the overgrown Tardifuma by summoning the gingerbread golems.
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| Nothing a Little Duct Tape Can't Fix! | Solve the zombie problem with homemade cyberimplants.
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| One-Way Pass | Call security 10 times.
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| Ones and Zeroes | Witness the emergence of a hacker dictatorship.
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| Petrificus Totalus! | Induce petrification with the camera.
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| Professional | Not a single mistake for five days in a row.
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| Quack! | Mr. Duck has grown a bit...
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| Quarantine | Send 10 people to the isolation ward.
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| Remember Me! | Witness the decline of civilization and complete anarchy.
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| Say "Cheese!" | Take photos of 100 anomalies.
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| Spring Cleaning | Resolve the Gray Slime spread crisis with Machina Fatorum.
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| Tech-Savvy! | Solve the zombie problem with microchipping.
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| The WHAT Probe?! | Witness the alien invasion.
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| This Mushroom Is Medicinal! | Solve the problem of the unknown infection with Los Huevos fungi.
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| This Will Only Sting a Bit! | Accidentally graze an anomaly when taking a blood sample.
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| Too Many Calories! | Resolve the Gozer the Sweetener arrival crisis with Machina Fatorum.
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| Total Disinfestation | Resolve the cyberanimal-aggression crisis with Machina Fatorum.
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| Tremors | Witness the Parasite's taking its final form.
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| We Have a Disco Ball | Send 50 people to the isolation ward.
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| We Need a Disinfectant! | Witness the mutant-insect attack.
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| We Too Have Technology! | Fight off alien invaders with cybermen.
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| Weird Science | Conduct all experiments in the isolation ward.
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| What's That Button For? | Call security for the first time.
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| Where the Hell Am I? | Move to 3rd floor.
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| Who You Gonna Call? | Witness the arrival of Gozer the Sweetener.
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| World Saved: 1 | Help Machina Fatorum save the world (maybe)
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| You Never Asked For It... | Witness the cyberman rebellion.
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| You're a Guard, Harry! | Finish your first workday.
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| Zombies On Your Lawn! | Witness the zombie apocalypse.
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