| Achievement | How to unlock
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|---|
| Always Blue! | Player 1 won the game!
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| Don't Underestimate the Yellow Fellow | Player 4 won the game!
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| Fireball Survivor (Expert) | You avoided fireballs for over 30 seconds! Look at you! Great job!
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| Fireball Survivor (Pro) | You avoided fireballs for over 40 seconds! WOW!
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| Fireball Survivor (Rookie) | You avoided fireballs for over 20 seconds!
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| If You're Not Red You're Dead | Player 3 won the game!
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| It's Easy Being Green | Player 2 won the game!
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| Shut Out! | Nobody else got any points... How embarrassing!
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| Slow Ball-er (Expert) | You defended your goal against the slow balls for 45 seconds! Gosh, you're great!
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| Slow Ball-er (Pro) | You defended your goal against the slow balls for a minute! Daaaaaaaaaaaaang!
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| Slow Ball-er (Rookie) | You defended your goal against the slow balls for 30 seconds!
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| Speed Racer (Expert) | You won a race in under 45 seconds! Wow so fast great job!
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| Speed Racer (Pro) | You won a 3 or 4 player race in under 30 seconds! You probably cheated!
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| Speed Racer (Rookie) | You won a race in under a minute!
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| Thanks For Playing! | You started playing Paddle Battle! Look at how much you've achieved already!
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| Wall Dodge (Expert) | You lasted 40 seconds without being pushed off the screen! Whoa
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| Wall Dodge (Pro) | You lasted 45 seconds without being pushed off the screen! You win at this.
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| Wall Dodge (Rookie) | You lasted 35 seconds without being pushed off the screen!
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