| Achievement | How to unlock
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| Adventurer | Explore 5 levels.
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| Apple of Ataraxia | Find a very peaceful apple.
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| Bears! Bears! | Find the three teddy bears.
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| Cake of Catastrophe | Find a cake which has been ruined by the taste of strawberry cream.
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| Cambrian Cake1 | Find a cake which is either really old, or Welsh.
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| Clover of Contradiction | Find the prophetic Clover of Contradiction.
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| Engorge | Purchase the Blue Star and prolong your invincibility.
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| Explorer | Explore 20 levels.
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| Full of Stars | Get 5 stars, like a posh restaurant.
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| Give Me Your Heart | Buy a heart from a wizard.
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| Hearty | Get five hearts.
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| Horseshoe of Hammurabi1 | Find the valuable Horseshoe of Hammurabi.
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| Hot Hot Hot | Reach Sandkuchen Island.
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| Hyperborean Herring | Find the tasty Hyperborean Herring.
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| I Love Looty | Find 5 treasure chests.
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| Ice Cream Cake | Find the best cake.
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| Key to Success | Get your first Golden Key.
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| Keys to the Kingdom | Get all five Golden Keys.
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| Lager of Luminosity | Find the weak, tasteless Lager of Luminosity.
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| Limoncello of Ludology | Find this necessary component for most game criticism.
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| Or Cold | Reach Eisland.
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| Paradigmatic Potato | Find the elusive Paradigmatic Potato.
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| Pineapple of Posterity | Find the pineapple left to later generations.
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| Primordial Popcorn | It's only slightly damp.
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| Rainbow of Relevance | Find the obscure Rainbow of Relevance.
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| Ready for Adventure | Reach the main map.
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| Somebody Jumped | It was you.
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| Starry | Get your first star.
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| Stout of Solidarity | Find the Stout of Solidarity.
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| Tenacious Tomato | Find the tomato that can survive anywhere.
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| The Riches | Find your first treasure chest.
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| These Boots Are Made For Jumping | Buy double jump boots from a crazy hermit.
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| Wanderer | Explore 10 levels.
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| Whiskey of Wizardy | Find the Whiskey of Wizardy.
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