| Achievement | How to unlock
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| I am at Risk of Contracting Mononucleosis, Which is Known Colloquially as the Kissing Disease | This achievement is an award which is awarded for achieving 10,000 kisses total.
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| I am One in a Million, and There Are Six Thousand People in the World Exactly Like Me | Awarded for racking up over 999,999.999 points total.
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| I Avoid Sleep Wherever Possible, So I Played AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! a Whole Lot | Awarded for completing 4,096 jumps.
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| I Have Broken More Glass Than a Finely Corpulent Opera Singer, and Love Myself For It | Awarded for breaking 1,000 scoring plates.
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| I Have Jumped Beyond the Powers of Two, and Have Lived to Tell the Tale | Awarded for completing your 128th jump.
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