| Achievement | How to unlock
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| 2D Satan Elements | Perform the Pentagram of Death.
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| Animality | Complete Chapter 5.
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| Belle of the Ball | Complete Chapter 1.
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| Blood Everywhere | Dismember 1,000 zombies.
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| Bloodmistress of Pemberley | Complete Chapter 10.
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| Bronze Warrior | Earn a bronze medal.
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| Check Please! | Defeat Long Tom Onion.
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| Defensive Driver | Complete Chapter 6.
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| Dietrich Did It! | Set the carriage on fire.
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| England's Greatest Warrior | Defeat Lady Catherine.
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| Family Honor | Complete Chapter 12.
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| Fart App Rich | Collect $1,000,000 total.
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| Friendly Coercion | Persuade Mr. Wickham into marriage.
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| Gold Warrior | Earn a gold medal.
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| Good Luck With That | Earn platinum medals on all levels.
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| Hell's Kitchen | Complete Chapter 4.
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| Hobo Rich | Collect $50 total.
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| Hot Date | Give your reply to Mr. Darcy's proposal.
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| Master of the Art | Perform every special move in the game.
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| Mr. Moneybags | Collect $100,000 total.
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| Nurturing Sister | Complete Chapter 2.
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| Penitent Soul | Complete Chapter 9.
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| Pepto | Kill 50 fat zombies.
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| Platinum Warrior | Earn a platinum medal.
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| Regal Ultimate Power | Kill 50 ninjas.
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| Silver Warrior | Earn a silver medal.
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| Slap Chop | Kill 10 zombies.
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| Slice n'Dice | Eviscerate 100 zombies.
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| Tea with the Queen | Purchase all available upgrades.
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| Team Time! | Purchase your first upgrade.
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| The Soldier and the Gentleman | Complete Chapter 3.
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| The Student Becomes the Master | Kill the Ninja Boss.
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| Tiger Style | Complete Chapter 7.
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| Unfinished Business | Complete Chapter 11.
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| Warrior's Code | Complete Chapter 8.
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| Why We Can't Have Nice Things | Destroy 100 scenery objects.
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